y extracted a rather crumpled letter.

"Hurrah!" I said. "He's got it."

"What is it?" she said.

"It is a courteous communication from Messrs. Wilfer and Wontner, highly
commending the virtues of their renowned Hygeia tabloids, two to be
taken daily after dinner."

"It's the most private and urgent letter I ever heard of. And now, I
suppose, you'll withdraw your most unjust decree against our using the
writing-table."

"Not at all," I said; "I make it stricter than ever. If you hadn't used
my table I should have looked in my coat pocket and found the letter
long ago."

"Anyhow," she said, "it's a comfort to think you won't have to write to
the Sultan of Morocco."

R. C. L.

* * * * *

THE LORD OF THE LEVIATHANS.

There harbours somewhere in our midst to-day
A visionary whom I long to meet;
He shuns publicity, and yet his sway
Is felt in many a teeming London street,
From staid Stoke Newington to sylvan Sheen,
From gay Mile End to high-browed Golder's Green.

'Tis he who planned the routes for motor-bi,
Who set them in the way that they should go,
That Maida Vale might wot of Peckham Rye,
That Walham Green might fraternise with Bow,
For him a Norwood bus stormed Notting Hill,
'Erb at the helm, Augustus at the till.

"Tooting is fair," he mused, "but what of Kew?
Shall Cricklewood and Balham be forgot?"
Mindful of regions Barking never knew,
He linked them up with that idyllic spot;,
And then, his wild imaginings to crown,
He ran a bus from Barnes to Camden Town.

Dreamer of dreams! above the city's strife
I picture him, in some lone eyrie pent,
What time the crash and roar of London's life
Drone deep-mouthed up in sullen music blent,
And, hearkening, he weaves with lonely glee
A wondrous web of bus-routes yet to be.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Farmer's Wife (to visitor)._ "Now, Johnny, will you go
and collect the eggs, and don't take the china ones. I suppose you know
what they're for?"

_Johnny._ "Oh, yes; they're for a pattern to show 'em how to make the
others."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

(_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._}

Mr. Beresford is most warmly to be congratulated upon his new book, _The
House in Demetrius Road_ (Heinemann). Mr. Beresford's work has had from
the first remar