es. Longevity, this extract maintains, is the
result of application to good cider. The Rev. Martin Johnson, vicar of
Dilwyn, in Herefordshire, from 1651 to 1698 (he read from his clipping),
wrote:

_This parish, wherein sider is plentiful, hath many people that
do enjoy this blessing of long life; neither are the aged
bedridden or decrepit as elsewhere; next to God, wee ascribe it
to our flourishing orchards, first that the bloomed trees in
spring do not only sweeten but purify the ambient air; next, that
they yield us plenty of rich and winy liquors, which do conduce
very much to the constant health of our inhabitants. Their
ordinary course is to breakfast and sup with toast and sider
through the whole Lent; which heightens their appetites and
creates in them durable strength to labour._

There was a pause, and our friend (he is a man of girth and with a brow
bearing all the candor of a life of intense thought) leaned against the
mahogany counter.

That is very fine, we said, draining our chalice, and feeling brightness
of eye, length of years, and durable strength to labour added to our
person. In the meantime (we said) why do you not drink the rich and winy
liquor which your vessel contains?

He folded up his clipping and put it away with a sigh.

I always have to read that first, he said, to make the damned stuff
palatable. It will be ten years, he said, before the friend who sent me
that clipping will have to drink any cider.

ONE-NIGHT STANDS

[Illustration]

To those looking for an exhilarating vacation let us commend a
week of "trouping" on one-night stands with a theatrical company,
which mirthful experience has just been ours. We went along in
the very lowly capacity of co-author, which placed us somewhat
beneath the stage hands as far as dignity was concerned; and we
flatter ourself that we have learned our station and observe it
with due humility. The first task of the director who stages a
play is to let the author know where he gets off. This was
accomplished in our case by an argument concerning a speech in
the play where one of the characters remarks, "I propose to send
a mental message to Eliza." This sounds (we contend) quite a
harmless sentiment, but the director insisted that the person
speaking, being an Englishman of studious disposition, would not
say anything so inaccurate. "He would use much more correct
language," said the di