itress.

And Furthermore, that title to said Meal does not pass until the
party of the second part has conveyed, of his mansuetude and
proper charity, a gratuity, fee, honorarium, lagniappe,
pourboire, easement or tip of not less than 15 per cent of the
price of said Meal; which easement, while customarily spoken of
as a free-will grant or gratuity, is to be constructively
regarded as an entail and a necessary encumbrance upon said Meal.

And the said party of the first part covenants with the said
party of the second part as follows: That the said C. D. is
seized of the said Meal in fee simple, and shall quietly enjoy
said Meal subject to the covenants and restrictions and
encumbrances hereinbefore set out, subject to the good pleasure
of the Head Waiter.

In Witness Whereof these presents are signed,

(LOC. SIG.)

ADVENTURES IN HIGH FINANCE

[Illustration]

There is no way in which one can so surely arouse the suspicions of
bankers as by trying to put some money in their hands. We went round to a
near-by bank hoping to open an account. As we had formerly dealt with an
uptown branch of the same institution, and as the cheque we wanted to
deposit bore the name of a quite well-known firm, we thought all would be
easy. But no; it seemed that there was no convincing way to identify
ourself. Hopefully we pulled out a stack of letters, but these were
waved aside. We began to feel more and more as though we had come with
some sinister intent. We started to light our pipe, and then it occurred
to us that perhaps that would be regarded as the gesture of a hardened
cracksman, seeking to appear at his ease. We wondered if, in all our
motions, we were betraying the suspicious conduct of the professional
embezzler. Perhaps the courteous banker was putting us through some
Freudian third degree ... in these days when the workings of the
unconscious are so shrewdly canvassed, was there anything abominable in
the cellar of our soul which we were giving away without realizing ...
had we not thought to ourself, as we entered the door, well, this is a
fairly decent cheque to start an account with, but we won't keep our
balance anywhere near that figure ... perhaps our Freudian banker had
spotted that thought and was sending for a psychological patrol wagon ...
well, how _could_ we identify ourself? Did we know any one who had an
account in that branch? No.

We thought of a friend of ours who banked at another branch of