ol you were and that it was one of your wretched jokes;
but you can't expect an Irishman to see a joke. I tried to explain it; I
said that you referred to my exploits as a sniper; and they replied that
sniping was their department and nobody else's.

"So I decided to come home and arrange for some shooting in a place
where there's a bit of peace. I'm thinking of going after the ongdu
antelopes in Somaliland. You can't spare three months, can you?"

"Why didn't you face it out?" I said, knowing that Brackley had spent
four years and two months of his life shooting Huns.

"Not worth while. I could have had a guard, of course. But you can't
expect decent snipe-shooting when there's a lot of promiscuous firing
going on in the district. The snipe is a peculiarly nervous bird, you
know."

* * * * *

[Illustration: HUMOROUS DRAMA: AN UNREHEARSED DIVERSION.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Porter._ "DO YOU WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ONE ANOTHER, OR
VICE-VERSA?"]

* * * * *

A FOOTNOTE TO THE "BAB BALLADS."

[The Vice-Chairman of No. 1 Committee of the League of Nations,
dealing with general organisation, is Mr. WELLINGTON KOO, the
distinguished Chinese diplomatist.]

Serene and Celestial Sage,
How well you revive and renew
The delights of an age when good "Bab" was the rage--
Eminent WELLINGTON KOO!

For I feel, though I may be a fool,
You were reared in remote Rum-ti-Foo,
Maybe suffered at school its episcopal rule--
Tolerant WELLINGTON KOO.

Next I see you adorning the scene
In the city of fair Titipu,
Garbed in green and in gold, very fine to behold--
Sumptuous WELLINGTON KOO.

Then you probably met _Captain Reece_
And all his affectionate crew,
Who knew no decrease of their comfort and peace--
Nautical WELLINGTON KOO.

_Clonglocketty Angus McClan_
I fear was withheld from your view;
That unfortunate man was not fated to scan
Fortunate WELLINGTON KOO.

But my reason instinctively tells
It was you who contrived to imbue
With his knowledge of spells _John Wellington Wells_--
Magical WELLINGTON KOO.

"Morality, heavenly link,"
I'm sure you will never taboo,
Though to it I don't think you'll "eternally drink"--
Temperate WELLINGTON KOO.

It is rather malicious, I own,
To play with a name that is true,
But I hope you'll