dormitory?

R. CECIL _mi._ (Parasites) must not preach.

J. DEVLIN (Meteorites) said that Ireland was a nation. But he must not
get excited.

R. CECIL _ma._ (Collegers) must not eat while he is speaking. Otherwise
a gentlemanly speech.

The President summed up and the Motion was carried by 12 votes to 11.

A. P. H.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN "IMPASSE" AT OUR HOTEL.

OUR ADMIRAL AND GENERAL, WHO ARE NOT ON SPEAKING TERMS, FIND IT
IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE ONE ANOTHER WHEN THEY MEET ON THE STAIRS.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE COLISEUM QUEUE, A.D. 60 OR THEREABOUTS.

"LADIES AND GENTS, I 'OPE YOU WILL LET ME 'AVE YOUR KIND ATTENTION WHILE
I GIVE A RENDERING OF 'RULE, BRITANNIA,' THE NATIONAL SONG OF BRITAIN,
ACCOMPANYIN' MYSELF ON THE 'ARP, WICH I LEARNED TO PLAY WEN I WAS
SERVIN' IN THE ARMY OF OCCUPATION IN THAT REMOTE AND BARBAROUS ISLAND."]

* * * * *

A DIFFICULT CASE.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,--This is one of those social problems which end by
asking what A should do, only in this case I want to know what you would
do.

It happened on the first day of my leave, just after I had, as is my
custom on this day, had my hair cut and otherwise made beautiful at a
place in Bond Street. (I am afraid this sounds as if I was a rich man,
but really I am a Naval Officer.)

I was wearing--well, that would not interest you, but it really was
rather a pleasant suit, with a hat which even _The Daily Mail_ could not
improve upon. Briefly, I was strolling along in a perfectly contented
frame of mind when a horse, drawing a van, chose to fall down right
alongside me.

In a moment of rashness and chivalry--have I said that the horse was
being driven by a girl?--I promptly sat on the brute's head, an act
which I had always been told is the correct thing to do, though, I
should imagine, discouraging for the horse.

In my haste I sat down with my back to the van, so was unable to gauge
the progress of the refitting work which was going on.

In an effort to convey to the crowd, which had, of course, collected,
that I was in no way embarrassed, nay more, that I was well accustomed
to sitting on horses' heads in the middle of Bond Street, I lit
a cigarette and tried to look _blase_, no easy thing to do in the
circumstances.

Small boys made tactless remarks about my personal appearance and
eccentric habits, but I ignored them, fever