ad, my child. And, whatever comes, may the
good God direct you into peace."
Then he turned upon his heel, his black eyes dim--for the autumn months
would be long with only Madame Imogen for companion, beside his
flock--and the sea.
Michael had got back from Paris utterly disgusted with life, sick with
himself. Bitterly resentful against fate for creating such a tangled
skein, and dangling happiness in front of him only to snatch it away
again. He went up to Arranstoun and tried to play his part in the
rejoicings at his return. He opened the house, engaged a full staff of
servants, and filled it with guests. He shot with frantic eagerness for
one week, and then with indifference the next. Whatever he may have done
wrong in his life, his punishment had come. He had naturally an iron
will, and when he began to use it to calm his emotions, a better state
of things might set in, but for the time being he was just drifting, and
sorrow was his friend.
His suite at Arranstoun--which he had never seen since the day after his
wedding, having gone up to London that very next night, and from there
made all his arrangements for the China trip--gave him a shock--he who
had nerves of steel--and into the chapel he loathed to go. His one
consolation was that Binko, now seven years old, had not transferred his
affection to Alexander Armstrong, with whom he had spent the time; but
after an hour or two had rapturously appeared to remember his master,
and now never, if he could help it, left his side.
Michael took to reading books--no habit of his youth!--although his
shrewd mind had not left him in the usual plight of blank ignorance,
which is often the portion of a splendid, young athlete leaving Eton!
But now he studied subjects seriously, and the whys and wherefores of
things; and he grew rather to enjoy the evenings alone, between the
goings and comings of his parties, when, buried in a huge chair before
his log fire, with only Binko's snorts for company, he could pore over
some volume of interest. He studied his family records, too, getting all
sorts of interesting documents out of his muniment room.
What a fierce, brutal lot they had always been! No wonder the chapel had
to be so gloriously filled--and then there came to his memory the one
little window which was still plain, and how he had told Sabine that he
supposed it had been left for him to garnish--as an expiatory
offering--the race being so full of rapine and sin!
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