ng his hand_). My dear Sir, after the
satisfactory examination you have just undergone, I shall have much
pleasure in recommending you for a Scholarship.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, Aug_. 8.--Think I mentioned, just before
Prorogation, how DUNBAR BARTON, offended at disregard paid to his
warnings by Ministers, protested that he would never speak again, and
should thenceforth be known as DUM BARTON. Finding him to-night figged
out, prepared to move Address, reminded him of the incident.

[Illustration: Asquith, Q.C.]

"Quite so, TOBY," he said; "you're perfectly right. I never did speak
again in that House. This is a different thing. Besides, I'm not going
to make a speech, but to read a paper."

Rather quibbling this; but temptation to accept invitation to move
Address at opening of new Session understood to be irresistible.
Believe I'm the only Member who ever begged to be excused. W.H. CROSS
seconded Address; speech much mystified House; remains to this day
disputed point whether he meant to be funny, or was merely maladroit.
Fancy he really meant it. GRAND CROSS in Peers' Gallery, looking on
with fond affection. Life been for him, of late, a troubled sheet
of water. His counsel about not dissolving Parliament till very last
moment, over-ruled; consequence is, Government are going out; how
India is to get on without him, GRAND CROSS really doesn't know.
Situation not soothed by reprehensible frivolity of Prince ARTHUR.
Meeting GRAND CROSS just now, moodily crossing Corridor, Prince
said,--"Well, we're not the only parties changing places. I see,
from the newspapers, that the planet Mars has already gone into
Opposition."

GRAND CROSS severely shook his head. There are some things too sacred
for a joke; his leaving the India Office is one. Moreover, not free
from certain jealousy in the matter. Fact is, been, so to speak,
"on the joke" himself. Modest merit, like murder, will out. No use
attempting to burke what is open secret. All those funereal jokes
in young Cross's speech--his "course of obituary notices" as ASQUITH
happily put it--were really GRAND CROSS's. CROSS _pere_ composed them
in the seclusion of Eccle Riggs, and made them over to his son.

"Would never do, WILLIAM HENRY, for a man in my position to publicly
make a joke. I am not sure how it befits the Junior Counsel for
England in the Behri