the "animal's interest" shall charm us instead,
Though it's scarcely a charm _you've_ discovered,--at least
There's many a father who's pointedly said,
That his int'resting Babe was a "mere little beast!"

* * * * *

SEASONABLE BUT UNFAIR.--When you have to pay heavily for light
refreshments.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ATAVISM.

_Proud Mother_. "BUT _REALLY_ NOW, DR. BIRCH, DON'T YOU THINK IT
RATHER EXTRAORDINARY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE _THREE_ SUCH CLEVER SONS?"

_Dr. B._ "WHY, NO, MY DEAR MADAM; NOW YOU HAVE TOLD ME WHAT A
REMARKABLY CLEVER _GRANDMOTHER_ THEY HAD!"]

* * * * *

THE NEXT VIVA VOCE.

["Due consideration will be given in the selection
of Candidates for Scholarships to proficiency in
athletics."--_Daily Paper_.]

_Examiner_ (_courteously_). Have you studied any Latin author?

_Candidate_ (_with hesitation_). I once looked into CORNELIUS NEPOS,
but never could construe half a dozen lines.

_Exam._ What have you studied in Greek?

_Can._ Tried the first page of VALPY, and got through the present of
[Greek: tupto]--then gave it up.

_Exam._ Do you know anything about Mathematics?

_Can._ Fancy I have heard of the Rule of Three, but hanged if I know
much about Fractions.

_Exam._ (_a little despairingly_). Can you give the dates of the four
WILLIAMS in English History?

_Can._ No. Suppose followed one another, as shillings of the time of
WILLIAM THE FOURTH still in use. Suppose WILLIAM THE FIRST must have
been about the end of the Eighteenth Century.

_Exam._ (_with new hope_). Do you know anything about Geography?

_Can._ Not without a _Continental Bradshaw_.

_Exam._ (_nothing daunted_). Can you tell me the name of the spot
which is supposed to be the centre of the universe?

_Can._ I haven't the faintest idea, but suppose you mean Monte Carlo.

_Exam._ (_as a last resource_). Do you know anything about Law?

_Can._ Nothing at all, except that one of my friends had to pay five
pounds, the other day, for assaulting a Policeman.

_Exam._ (_losing his temper_). Then what on earth _do_ you know?

_Can._ Only how to break the record of the quarter mile.

_Exam._ (_brightening up_). And can you play Cricket?

_Can._ (_contemptuously_). _Can_ I play Cricket! Why I carried my bat
out for 184 against Loamshire, with GRACE bowling his swiftest.

_Exam._ (_cordially graspi