ILL THEY WORK?"

LORD ROSEBERY (_aside to McHARCOURT, the Gillie_). "WONDER WHAT SORT
OF A BAG HE'LL MAKE--_OVER THOSE DOGS!!_"]

* * * * *

HOW IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN SETTLED.

(_SUPPLEMENTARY AND IMAGINARY DESPATCH NOT YET RECEIVED AT THE FOREIGN
OFFICE._)

It will be remembered that I had the honour to report that amongst
my _suite_ I had the pleasure to be accompanied by Herr VON POPOFF,
the celebrated Germano-Russian _prestidigitateur_. When I received a
despatch from the Foreign Office informing me that I was premature
in destroying the Draft Treaty, although that Draft Treaty contained
provisions that were entirely different to those which the Sultan had
already at the time accepted and promised to sign, I made up my mind
to return to His Sheriffian Majesty with a view to setting things
right. I considered it advisable to be accompanied by Herr VON POPOFF,
as I counted upon that eminent conjuror's valuable aid to assist me in
carrying out what I venture to submit, was my praiseworthy object.

When we reached the room the Sultan was occupying, we found His
Sheriffian Majesty regarding with some indignation, the remains of the
Draft Treaty that had been brought back to him by the messengers the
Sultan had sent to me.

His Majesty was very angry, and had given orders for the immediate
execution of Herr VON POPOFF and myself, when my talented assistant
gently placed his hand upon the head of the swarthy and irate
Sovereign, and by a clever pass produced an egg. This amused and
amazed the Sultan immensely, and his Sheriffian Majesty desired that
the feat should be repeated. This request received immediate practical
acquiescence as the wonderworker deliberately extracted eggs from the
Sultan's arms, legs, and whiskers. Having obtained some dozen eggs by
this means, Herr VON POPOFF borrowed a turban from the Prime Minister,
and breaking the eggs into his improvised saucepan, mixed the mess
into a compact mass with the assistance of a scimitar kindly lent for
the occasion by the Commander-in-Chief.

"High cock-alorum jig, jig, jig!" exclaimed the Wizard, and in
a trice, the eggs had disappeared, and in their place appeared a
pound-cake. I have the honour to report that the cake was then cut
into small portions and passed round for consumption. His Sheriffian
Majesty was good enough to partake of the rather stale comestible. The
remainder of the cake was devoured by the _suite_.

By