rice of everything and the value of
nothing." It has been said before, but you may feel that it is quite time
it was said again; besides, for all the audience knows, Lord John may
simply be quoting. Now this answer, even if it comes quite fresh to the
stalls, will lose much of its effect if it is said without the assistance
of a cigarette. Try it for yourself.

_Lord John_. A cynic is a man who, etc....

Rotten. Now try again.

_Lord John_. A cynic is a man who, etc.... _[Lights cigarette.]_

No, even that is not good. Once more:---

_Lord John (lighting cigarette)_. A cynic is a man who, etc.

Better, but leaves too much to the actor.

Well, I see I must tell you.

_Lord John (taking out gold cigarette case from his left-hand upper
waistcoat pocket)_. A cynic, my dear Arthur (_he opens case
deliberately, puts cigarette in mouth, and extracts gold match-box
from right-hand trouser_) is a man who (_strikes match_) knows the
price of (_lights cigarette_)--everything, and (_standing with match in
one hand and cigarette in the other_) the value of---pff (_blows out
match_) of (_inhales deeply from cigarette and blows out a cloud of
smoke_)--nothing.

It makes a different thing of it altogether. Of course on the actual
night the match may refuse to strike, and Lord John may have to go on
saying "a man who--a man who--a man who" until the ignition occurs, but
even so it will still seem delightfully natural to the audience (as if he
were making up the epigram as he went along); while as for blowing the
match out, he can hardly fail to do _that_ in one.

The cigarette, of course, will be smoked at other moments than
epigrammatic ones, but on these other occasions you will not need to deal
so fully with it in the stage directions. "_Duke (lighting cigarette_). I
trust, Perkins, that..." is enough. You do not want to say, "_Duke
(dropping ash on trousers_). It seems to me, my love..." or, "_Duke
(removing stray piece of tobacco from tongue_). What Ireland needs
is..."; still less "_Duke (throwing away end of cigarette_). Show him
in." For this must remain one of the mysteries of the stage--What happens
to the stage cigarette when it has been puffed four times? The stage tea,
of which a second cup is always refused; the stage cutlet, which is
removed with the connivance of the guest after two mouthfuls; the stage
cigarette, which nobody ever seems to want to smoke to the end--thinking
of these as they make their appea