how improbable it
was that any of my cherished plans would bear fruit, I felt
willing to go. But Providence did not so will it. A much
darker dispensation for our family was in store.'

DEATH OF HER FATHER.

'On the evening of the 30th of September, 1835, my father was
seized with cholera, and on the 2d of October, was a corpse.
For the first two days, my grief, under this calamity, was
such as I dare not speak of. But since my father's head
is laid in the dust, I feel an awful calm, and am becoming
familiar with the thoughts of being an orphan. I have prayed
to God that duty may now be the first object, and self set
aside. May I have light and strength to do what is right, in
the highest sense, for my mother, brothers, and sister. * *

'It has been a gloomy week, indeed. The children have all been
ill, and dearest mother is overpowered with sorrow, fatigue,
and anxiety. I suppose she must be ill too, when the
children recover. I shall endeavor to keep my mind steady, by
remembering that there is a God, and that grief is but for a
season. Grant, oh Father, that neither the joys nor sorrows
of this past year shall have visited my heart in vain! Make me
wise and strong for the performance of immediate duties, and
ripen me, by what means Thou seest best, for those which lie
beyond.

'My father's image follows me constantly. Whenever I am in
my room, he seems to open the door, and to look on me with a
complacent, tender smile. What would I not give to have it
in my power, to make that heart once more beat with joy! The
saddest feeling is the remembrance of little things, in which
I have fallen short of love and duty. I never sympathized in
his liking for this farm, and secretly wondered how a mind
which had, for thirty years, been so widely engaged in the
affairs of men, could care so much for trees and crops.
But now, amidst the beautiful autumn days, I walk over the
grounds, and look with painful emotions at every little
improvement. He had selected a spot to place a seat where
I might go to read alone, and had asked me to visit it. I
contented myself with "When you please, father;" but we never
went! What would I not now give, if I had fixed a time, and
shown more interest! A day or two since, I went there. The
tops of the distant blue hills were veiled