tell what is coming
to us, for the estate will not be settled when I go. I pray to
God ceaselessly that I may decide wisely.'

* * * * *

'_April 17th, 1836_.--If I am not to go with you I shall
be obliged to tear my heart, by a violent effort, from its
present objects and natural desires. But I shall feel the
necessity, and will do it if the life-blood follows through
the rent. Probably, I shall not even think it best to
correspond with you at all while you are in Europe. Meanwhile,
let us be friends indeed. The generous and unfailing love
which you have shown me during these three years, when I
could be so little to you, your indulgence for my errors and
fluctuations, your steady faith in my intentions, have
done more to shield and sustain me than any other earthly
influence. If I must now learn to dispense with feeling them
constantly near me, at least their remembrance can never,
never be less dear. I suppose I ought, instead of grieving
that we are soon to be separated, now to feel grateful for
an intimacy of extraordinary permanence, and certainly of
unstained truth and perfect freedom on both sides.

'As to my feelings, I take no pleasure in speaking of them;
but I know not that I could give you a truer impression of
them, than by these lines which I translate from the German of
Uhland. They are entitled "JUSTIFICATION."

"Our youthful fancies, idly fired,
The fairest visions would embrace;
These, with impetuous tears desired,
Float upward into starry space;
Heaven, upon the suppliant wild,
Smiles down a gracious _No_!--In vain
The strife! Yet be consoled, poor child,
For the wish passes with the pain.

But when from such idolatry
The heart has turned, and wiser grown,
In earnestness and purity
Would make a nobler plan its own,--
Yet, after all its zeal and care,
Must of its chosen aim despair,--
Some bitter tears may be forgiven
By _Man_, at least,--_we trust, by Heaven_."'

[Footnote A: Her eldest brother.]

BIRTH-DAY.

'_May 23d, 1836_.--I have just been reading Goethe's
Lebensregel. It is easy to say "Do not trouble yourself with
useless regrets for the past; enjoy the present, and leave the
future to God." But it is _not_ easy for char