own business; that we were surveying his estate, and settling it
for him, since he would not do it himself. Upon this there happened a
quarrel, but we being stronger than they, sent them away with a flea in
their ear. They went home and told their master. "My lord," say they,
"there are three odd sort of fellows going about your grounds with the
strangest machines that ever we beheld in our life: I suppose they are
going to rob your orchard, fell your trees, or drive away your cattle.
They told us strange things of settling your estate--one is a lusty
old fellow in a black wig, with a black beard, without teeth; there's
another, thick squat fellow, in trunk hose; the third is a little,
long-nosed, thin man (I was then lean, being just come out of a fit
of sickness)--I suppose it is fit to send after them, lest they carry
something away?"

MRS. BULL.--I fancy this put the old fellow in a rare tweague.

JOHN BULL.--Weak as he was, he called for his long Toledo, swore and
bounced about the room: "'Sdeath! what am I come to, to be affronted
so by my tradesmen? I know the rascals: my barber, clothier, and
linen-draper dispose of my estate! Bring hither my blunderbuss; I'll
warrant ye you shall see daylight through them. Scoundrels! dogs! the
scum of the earth! Frog, that was my father's kitchen-boy, he pretend to
meddle with my estate--with my will! Ah, poor Strutt! what are thou come
to at last? Thou hast lived too long in the world, to see thy age and
infirmity so despised! How will the ghosts of my noble ancestors receive
these tidings?--they cannot, they must not sleep quietly in their
graves." In short, the old gentleman was carried off in a fainting fit,
and after bleeding in both arms hardly recovered.

MRS. BULL.--Really this was a very extraordinary way of proceeding! I
long to hear the rest of it.

JOHN BULL.--After we had come back to the tavern, and taken t'other
bottle of champagne, we quarrelled a little about the division of the
estate. Lewis hauled and pulled the map on one side and Frog and I on
t'other, till we had like to have tore the parchment to pieces. At last
Lewis pulled out a pair of great tailor's shears and clipt a corner for
himself, which he said was a manor that lay convenient for him, and left
Frog and me the rest to dispose of as we pleased. We were overjoyed to
think Lewis was contented with so little, not smelling what was at the
bottom of the plot. There happened, indeed, an incident th