disinherited his heir, and was going
to settle his estate upon a parish-boy; that if they did not look after
their master, he would do some very mischievous thing. When John came
home, he found a more surprising scene than any he had yet met with, and
that you will say was somewhat extraordinary.

* Clamours about the danger of the succession.

He called his cook-maid Betty to bespeak his dinner. Betty told him
"That she begged his pardon, she could not dress dinner till she knew
what he intended to do with his will." "Why, Betty," quoth John, "thou
art not run mad, art thou? My will at present is to have dinner." "That
may be," quoth Betty, "but my conscience won't allow me to dress it till
I know whether you intend to do righteous things by your heir." "I am
sorry for that, Betty," quoth John; "I must find somebody else, then."
Then he called John the barber. "Before I begin," quoth John, "I hope
your honour won't be offended if I ask you whether you intend to alter
your will? If you won't give me a positive answer your beard may grow
down to your middle for me." "'Igad, so it shall," quoth Bull, "for I
will never trust my throat in such a mad fellow's hands. Where's Dick
the butler?" "Look ye," quoth Dick, "I am very willing to serve you in
my calling, d'you see, but there are strange reports, and plain-dealing
is best, d'ye see. I must be satisfied if you intend to leave all to
your nephew and if Nic. Frog is still your executor, d'ye see. If you
will not satisfy me as to these points you may drink with the ducks."
"And so I will," quoth John, "rather than keep a butler that loves my
heir better than myself." Hob the shoemaker, and Pricket the tailor,
told him they would most willingly serve him in their several stations
if he would promise them never to talk with Lewis Baboon, and let
Nicholas Frog, linen-draper, manage his concerns; that they
could neither make shoes nor clothes to any that were not in good
correspondence with their worthy friend Nicholas.

JOHN BULL.--Call Andrew, my journeyman. How goes affairs, Andrew? I hope
the devil has not taken possession of thy body too.

ANDREW.--No, sir; I only desire to know what you would do if you were
dead?

JOHN BULL.--Just as other dead folks do, Andrew. [Aside.] This is
amazing!

ANDREW.--I mean if your nephew shall inherit your estate.

JOHN BULL.--That depends upon himself. I shall do nothing to hinder him.

ANDREW.--But will you make it sure?