u pay
two-thirds of the lesser number. I think this is fair and square, as you
call it.

JOHN BULL.--Well, go on.

NIC FROG.--Two-thirds of 36,000 pounds are 24,000 pounds for your share,
and there remains 12,000 for mine. Again, of the 40,000 crowns I
pay 24,000, which is three-fifths, and you pay only 16,000, which is
two-fifths; 24,000 crowns make 6,000 pounds, and 16,000 crowns make
4,000 pounds; 12,000 and 16,000 make 18,000, 24,000 and 4,000 make
28,000. So there are 18,000 pounds to my share of the expenses, and
28,000 to yours.

After Nic. had bamboozled John awhile about the 18,000 and the 28,000,
John called for counters; but what with sleight of hand, and taking from
his own score and adding to John's, Nic. brought the balance always on
his own side.

JOHN BULL.--Nay, good friend Nic., though I am not quite so nimble in
the fingers, I understand ciphering as well as you. I will produce you
my accounts one by one, fairly writ out of my own books; and here I
begin with the first. You must excuse me if I don't pronounce the law
terms right.

[John reads.]

For the expenses ordinary of the suits, fees to judges, puisne judges,
lawyers innumerable of all sorts:--

Of extraordinaries, as follows per account..
To Esquire South's account for post terminums..
To ditto for non est factums..
To ditto for noli prosequis, discontinuance, and retraxit..
For writs of error..
Suits of conditions unperformed..
To Hocus for dedimus protestatem..
To ditto for a capias ad computandum..
To Frog's new tenants per account to Hocus, for audita querelas..
On the said account for writs of ejectment and distringas..
To Esquire South's quota for a return of a non est invent
and nulla habet bona..
To ---- for a pardon in forma pauperis..
To Jack for a melius inquirendum upon a felo-de-se..
To coach-hire..
For treats to juries and witnesses..

John having read over his articles, with the respective sums, brought in
Frog debtor to him upon the balance, 3,382 pounds 12 shillings.

Then Nic. Frog pulled his bill out of his pocket, and began to read.

Nicholas Frog's Account.

Remains to be deducted out of the former Account.

Paid by Nic. Frog for his share of the ordinary expenses of the suit
..
To Hocus for entries of a rege inconsulto..
To John Bull's nephew for a venire facias, the money not yet all
laid out..
The coach-hire for my wife and family