f good cheap victuals amorous,
Sharpen at sight of that big toothsome joint?
The carver does not wish to disappoint;
He is no Union Bumble, stingy, truculent,
He knows his dish is savoury and succulent,
That "Cut and Come again's" a pleasant motto,
But deal out "portions" all this hungry lot to?
Amphitryon feels the thing cannot be done,
Though he should slice the saddle to the bone
With all the deftness of a Vauxhall Waiter.
First come first serve! some claims are less, some greater;
Some of them may secure a well-piled plateful,
Others, though the necessity be hateful,
Empty away must go. Won't there be grumblings,
Waterings of mouths and hunger-gendered rumblings!
But the great Surplus-Joint, although a spanker,
Won't satiate all the appetites that hanker
After a solid slice of it. Cook GOSCHEN
Of careful carving has a neatish notion,
Yet, though his skill be great, his judgment sound,
He will not make that whopping joint "go round."

* * * * *

A BABE O' GRACE.

[MR. CHAMBERLAIN says that "MR. GLADSTONE'S Home Rule Policy was
conceived in secresy, was born in deceit, and was nurtured on
evasion."]

Poor Babe (whom kind Nurse C. so fain would throttle)
Ill was thy fate, fed from the GLADSTONE bottle!
Nurture less harsh had ROMULUS and REMUS.
Nurse C. would, oh! so gladly, "NICODEMUS
The bantling into Nothing." Yet it lives
And kicks and crows, and lots of trouble gives,
This happy Baby on the tree-top dangling
Whilst friends and foes about thy fate are wrangling!
When the wind blows--ah! then the world shall see
What a prophetic soul has kind Nurse C.
Its face, perchance, had been more bright and bland
Could kind Nurse C. have "brought it up by hand,"
As _Mrs. Gargery_ did the infant "_Pip_."
Nay, there are some who on the hint let slip
That kind Nurse C. had never wished it slain
Had it but in another _Chamber lain_!

* * * * *

Look at Home!

GRANDOLPH says that "Local Self-Government" should precede "Purchase."
Probably he may find a little "Local Self-Government" (of tongue and
temper) necessary to enable him to "purchase" the continued support of
the Voters of South Paddington!

* * * * *

EXIT IN FUMO.

[The birthday gifts from the Emperor to Prince BISMARCK include,
besides his portrait, a long and valuab