;
But I watch my AMANDA with covert alarm,
And wait till she severs the Wine-merchant's charm.

* * * * *

MRS. R. is always instructing herself. She has been reading up legal
technicalities. "The names," she says, "in some cases are so
appropriate. I am informed that in a Divorce case, where the husband is
the petitioner, the Judge issues a writ of '_Fie Fie_' against the
wife."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A REMINISCENCE OF LENT.

"AND DID YOU BOTH PRACTISE A LITTLE SELF-DENIAL, AND AGREE TO GIVE UP
SOMETHING YOU WERE FOND OF?--_SUGAR_, FOR INSTANCE,--AS I SUGGESTED?"

"WELL, YES, AUNTY! ONLY IT WASN'T EXACTLY _SUGAR_, YOU KNOW! IT WAS
_SOAP_ WE AGREED TO GIVE UP!"]

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

JOURNALISTIC.

"_At the Duchess of Drinkwater's fashionable reunion, held last night, I
noticed among the first-comers, &c._;" _i.e._, I got all my information,
when it was over, as well as I could, from an inebriated linkman.

"_What is this we hear about a certain----?_" We're not certain of our
authority, but can't miss the opportunity of being first in the field
with the rumour of a scandal, so we put it into an interrogatory form,
which can't do any harm to _us_.

"_The greatest excitement prevails_;" _i.e._, Two men who were not
present on the occasion discuss it under a lamp-post and the influence
of liquor.

SOCIAL.

"_You must come and dine with me one night_;" _i.e._, "It sounds hearty,
but as a fixture I'll relegate it to the Greek Kalends."

"_How well you are looking!" (to a Gentleman)_; _i.e._, "You are getting
awfully stout, and must drink more than is good for you." _Ditto, ditto
(to a Lady)_; _i.e._, "Your figure and complexion are entirely gone."

AUCTIONEERING.

"_Old Historic House_;" _i.e._, Dormer windows, dark rooms, and the dry
rot.

"_High-class Furniture_;" Another term for mahogany.

"_Superior Ditto_;" An adjective reserved for walnut.

"_Solid Ditto_;" When there is no other epithet possible.

"_Elegant Modern Ditto_;" In the gimcrack pseudo-aesthetic style.

"_Handsome Ditto_;" _i.e._, Consoles, any amount of mirrors, gilding,
crimson silk, ormolu--all a little "off colour."

OF A FRIEND'S NEW HORSE.

"_Ah! Well put together_;" _i.e._, "He's screwed all round."

PLATFORMULARS.

"_We have no personal quarrel with our opponents_;" _i.e._, "They said
som