end him.

* * * * *

[Illustration: ANY EXCUSE BETTER THAN NONE.

_Cautious Customer._ "BUT IF HE'S A YOUNG HORSE, WHY DO HIS KNEES BEND
SO?"

_Dealer (reassuringly)._ "AH, SIR, THE POOR HANIMAL 'AS BEEN LIVING IN A
STABLE AS WAS TOO LOW FOR 'IM, AND 'ES 'AD TO STOOP!"]

* * * * *

"WANTED A WORD!"--Lord BURY wants a word to express electric action.
Anything Lord BURY deals with should be of grave import. Attempting to
find a new verb is quite an undertaking--to BURY. How would "bury" do?
"We buried him;" meaning, "we electrified him." "We went along Bury
well;" meaning, "the progress caused by electricity was satisfactory."
"We 'Buried along' at a great rate," and so forth.

* * * * *

ROOKY WALKER!

SIR,--Perhaps you have read the stories now being told in the
_Spectator_ about rooks and wasps as Policemen. "W.H.W.H." says that a
pair of rooks were persecuted while building their nest, and that a big
rook was deputed to guard them from attack--which he did, like other
policemen, by employing the "beak." There is really nothing at all
remarkable about this tale. Rooks are much more wonderful creatures than
anybody knows about. In my own garden, for instance, there is a rook who
acts as chaplain to a whole rookery. He might almost be called a "bird
of pray." Every Saturday he assembles all the rooks on one large tree,
and caws solemnly to them for ten minutes. I have noticed (through an
opera-glass) that the congregation wears a very devout appearance.
Churchwarden rooks go round while the service is proceeding, and peck
any birds that seem inattentive. At the close there is a universal caw,
which I believe stands for "Amen." It is a curious fact that the
chaplain rook on these occasions always ornaments himself with a wisp of
white grass tied round his neck, which increases his clerical aspect. I
have tried to induce the rooks--by firing at them with small shot--to
adopt Sunday instead of Saturday as their day of devotions, but hitherto
without success. You may think the above worth publishing. It is quite
true.

Yours, &c.,
LONGBOW.

SIR,--Here is a fact which beats "W.H.W.H.'s" rook story hollow. Rooks
are keen politicians. I once saw an assembly of them--I don't know if it
was the local Caw-cus or not--divide into two portions, one going to one
tree, another to another, and then two elderly rooks went ro