in my turn;
because so anxious were they to have children, for my husband was
the only son, and my mother-in-law was rich, could have heirs
through him alone.

* * * * *

This first confinement greatly improved my appearance, and in
consequence made me more vain, for although I would not have been
willing to add art to Nature, yet I was very complaisant to myself.

I was glad to be looked at, and, far from avoiding occasions for it,
I went to promenades; rarely however, and when I was in the streets,
I took off my mask from vanity, and my gloves to show my hands.
Could there be greater silliness? When I had thus been carried away,
which happened often enough, I wept inconsolably; but that did not
correct me. I also sometimes went to a ball, where I displayed my
vanity in dancing.

I did not curl my hair, or very little, I did not even put anything
on my face, yet I was not the less vain of it; I very seldom looked
in the looking-glass, in order not to encourage my vanity, and I
made a practise of reading books of devotion, such as the "Imitation
of Jesus Christ" and the works of Saint Francis de Sales, while my
hair was being combed, so that as I read aloud the servants profited
by it. Moreover, I let myself be dressed as they wished, remaining
as they arranged me--a thing which saves trouble and material for
vanity.

I do not know how things were, but people always admired me, and the
feelings of my vanity reawakened in everything. If on certain days I
wished to look to better advantage, I failed, and the more I
neglected myself the better I looked. It was a great stone of
stumbling for me. How many times, O my God, have I gone to churches
less to pray to you than to be seen there! Other women who were
jealous of me maintained that I painted, and said so to my
confessor, who reproved me for it, although I assured him to the
contrary.

I often spoke to my own advantage, and I exalted myself with pride
while lowering others. I sometimes still told lies, though I used
all my effort to free myself from this vice.

I never spoke to a man alone, and never took one to my carriage
unless my husband was there. I never gave my hand without
precaution, and I never went into the carriages of men. In short,
there was no possible measure