ll kind of churches; and as ordinarily he
only allowed me on festivals and Sundays, I could not communicate
but on those days, however desirous I might be for it; unless some
priest came to a chapel, which was a quarter of a league from our
house, and let us know of it. As the carriage could not be brought
out from the courtyard without being heard, I could not elude him. I
made an arrangement with the guardian of the Recolets, who was a
very holy man.

He pretended to go to say mass for somebody else, and sent a monk to
inform me. It had to be in the early morning, that my husband might
not know of it, and, although I had trouble in walking, I went a
quarter of a league on foot, because I dared not have the horses put
to the carriage for fear of awaking my husband. O my God, what a
desire did you not give me to receive you! and although my weariness
was extreme, all that was nothing to me. You performed miracles, O
my Lord, in order to further my desires; for besides that,
ordinarily on the days I went to hear mass, my husband woke later,
and thus I returned before his awaking: how many times have I set
out from the house in such threatening weather that the maid I took
with me said it would be out of the question for me to go on foot, I
should be soaked with rain. I answered her with my usual confidence,
"God will assist us"; and did I not arrive, O my Lord, without being
wetted? No sooner was I in the chapel than the rain fell in
torrents. The mass was no sooner finished than the rain ceased
entirely, and gave me time to return to the house, where,
immediately upon my arrival, it recommenced with greater violence.

* * * * *

The cross I felt most was to see my son revolt against me. I could
not see him without dying in grief. When I was in my room with any
of my friends, he was sent to listen to what I said; and as the
child saw it pleased them, he invented a hundred things to go and
tell them. What caused me the most pain was the loss of this child,
with whom I had taken extreme trouble. If I surprised him in a lie,
which often happened, I dared not reprove him. He told me, "My
grandmother says you are a greater liar than I!"

* * * * *

It was eight or nine months after I had the smallpox that Father La