his
clothes, as I did. I was always considered as a rantipole, for whom
any thing was good enough. But when I saw my brother tricked out in
new clothes, and his old duds covering me, like a scarecrow, I
appeal to any honourable mind whether it was in human nature to feel
otherwise than I did, without possessing an angelic disposition, to
which I never pretended; and I fairly own that I did shed not one
fiftieth part so many tears over Tom's grave, as I did over his dirty
pantaloons, when forced to put them on.

As for my sisters, I knew little about them, and cared less: we met
during the holidays, and separated, without regret, after a month's
quarrelling. When I went to sea, I ceased to think about them,
concluding there was no love lost; but when I found that death had
for ever robbed me of two of them, I felt the irretrievable loss. I
reproached myself with my coldness and neglect; and the affection I
had denied to them, I heaped threefold on my remaining sister: even
before I had ever seen her on my return, the tide of fraternal love
flowed towards her with an uncontrollable violence. All that I
ought to have felt towards the others, was concentrated in her, and
displayed itself with a force which surprised even myself.

Perhaps the reader may be astonished that my first inquiry in London,
when I had seen my father and my family, should not have been after
poor Eugenia, whom I had left, and who also had quitted me, under such
very peculiar and interesting circumstances. I cannot, however, claim
much credit for having performed this duty. I did go, without loss of
time, to her agent; and all that my most urgent entreaty could obtain
from him was that she was well; that I still had credit at his house
for any sum I chose to draw for in moderation; but that her place of
abode must, till farther orders from her, remain a secret.

As my father did not want interest, and my claims were backed by
good certificates, I received my commission as a lieutenant in his
Majesty's navy about a fortnight after my arrival in London; but not
being appointed to any ship, I resolved to enjoy the "_otium cum
dig_.," and endeavour to make myself some amends for the hard campaign
I had so lately completed in North America. I felt the transport of
being a something: at least, I could live independent of my father,
let the worst come to the worst; and I shall ever think this step gave
me more real pleasure than either of the two subseque