nd entertaining conversation, you tumbled off your
chair in an epileptic fit?--are you subject to these?"
"Oh, yes, my dear fellow, indeed I am; but it is so long since I last
had one, that I was in hopes they had left me. I have invalided for
them four times, and just at the very periods when, if I could have
remained out, my promotion was certain."
He then told me I might remain on shore that day, if I pleased. I gave
him credit for his happy instinct in taking the hint of the fit; and
as soon as I left him, he arose, went on board, and flogged two men
for being drunk the night before.
I did not fail to report all that had passed to my messmates, and we
sailed a few days afterwards for Barbadoes.
On the first Sunday of our being at sea, the captain dined in the
gun-room with the officers. He soon launched out into his usual strain
of lying and boasting, which always irritated our doctor, who was a
sensible young Welshman. On these occasions, he never failed to raise
a laugh at the captain's expense, by throwing in one or two words at
the end of each anecdote; and this he did in so grave and modest a
manner, that without a previous knowledge of him, anyone might have
supposed he was serious. The captain renewed his story of the corps of
poodles to extract the fuses from the shells. "I hoped," he said, "to
see the institution of such a corps among ourselves; and if I were to
be the colonel of it, I should soon have a star on my breast."
"That would be the Dog Star," said the doctor, with extreme gaiety.
"Thank you, Doctor," said the captain; "not bad; I owe you one."
We laughed; the doctor kept his countenance; and the captain looked
very grave; but he continued his lies, and dragged in as usual the
name of Sir Sydney Smith to support his assertions. "If you doubt me,
only ask Sir Sydney Smith; he'll talk to you about Acre for thirty-six
hours on a stretch, without taking breath; his cockswain at last got
so tired of it, that he nick-named him 'Long Acre.'"
The poor doctor did not come off scot free; the next day, he
discovered that the deck leaked over his cabin, and the water ran into
his bed. He began, with a hammer and some nails, to fasten up a piece
of painted canvas, by way of shelter. The captain heard the noise of
the hammer, and finding it was the doctor, desired him to desist. The
doctor replied, that he was only endeavouring to stop some leaks over
his bed: the captain said they should not be
|