raw too largely on our
stock, and squander our enjoyment like our money, leaving us the next
day with low spirits and a lower purse.

A stupid dejection succeeded the boisterous mirth of the overnight.
I slumbered in a corner of the coach till about one o'clock, when we
reached Godalming, where I alighted, took a slight refreshment, and
resumed my seat. As we drove along, I had more leisure, and was in a
fitter frame of mind to review my past conduct since I had quitted
my ship at Gibraltar. My self-examination, as usual, produced no
satisfactory results. I perceived that the example of bad company had
swept away every trace of good resolution which I had made on the
death of my mother. I saw, with grief, that I had no dependence on
myself; I had forgotten all my good intentions, and the firm vows of
amendment with which I had bound myself, and had yielded to the first
temptation which came in my way.

In vain did I call up every black and threatening cloud of domestic
sorrow, which was to meet me on my return home--the dreadful vacuum
occasioned by my mother's death--the grief of my father--my brother
and my sisters in deep mourning, and the couch on which I had left the
best of parents, when I turned away my thoughtless head from her in
the anguish of her grief. I renewed my promise of amendment, and felt
some secret consolation in doing so.

When I arrived at my father's door, the servant who let me in, greeted
me with a loud and hearty welcome. I ran into the drawing-room, where
I found that my brother and sisters had a party of children to spend
the evening with them. They were dancing to the music of a piano,
played on by my aunt, while my father sat in his arm-chair, in high
good-humour.

This was a very different scene from what I had expected. I was
prepared for a sentimental and affecting meeting; and my feelings were
all worked up to their full bearing for the occasion. Judge, then, of
the sudden revulsion in my mind, when I found mirth and good
humour where I expected tears and lamentations. It had escaped my
recollection, that although the death of my mother was an event new
to me, it had happened six months before I had heard of it; and,
consequently, with them grief had given way to time. I was astonished
at their apparent want of feeling; while they gazed with surprise at
the sight of me, and the symbols of woe displayed in my equipment.

My father welcomed me with surprise; asked where my ship was