d very ill together, and one principal cause
of this was our short allowance of food--daily skirmishes took place,
and not unfrequently pitched battles; but I never took any other part
in them than as a spectator, and the observations I made convinced me
that I should have no great difficulty in mastering the whole of them.

The office of caterer was one of neither honour nor emolument, and
it was voluntarily taken up, and peevishly laid down, on the first
trifling provocation. With the ship's allowance, no being, less than
an angel, could have given satisfaction. The division of beef and
pork into as many parcels as there were claimants, always produced
remonstrance, reproof, and blows. I was never quarrelsome, and took
the part allotted to me quietly enough, until, they finding my
disposition to submit, I found my portion daily decrease, and on the
resignation of the thirteenth caterer, I volunteered my services,
which were gladly accepted.

Aware of the danger and difficulty of my situation, I was prepared
accordingly. On the first day that I shared the provisions, I took
very good care of number one, and, as I had foreseen, was attacked by
two or three for my lion-like division of the prey. Upon this, I made
them a short speech, observing, that if they supposed I meant to take
the trouble of catering for nothing, they were very much mistaken;
that the small difference I made between their portions and mine, if
equally divided among them, would not fill a hollow tooth, and that,
after my own share, all others should be distributed with the most
rigid impartiality, and scrupulous regard to justice.

This very reasonable speech did not satisfy them. I was challenged to
decide the point _a la Cribb_; two candidates for the honour stepped
out at once. I desired them to toss up; and having soon defeated the
winner, I recommended him to return to his seat. The next man came
forward, hoping to find an easy victory, after the fatigue of a recent
battle; but he was mistaken, and retired with severe chastisement.
The next day I took my seat, cleared for action--coat, waistcoat, and
neckcloth off. I observed that I should proceed as I had done before,
and was ready to hold a court of Oyer and Terminer; but no suitors
appeared, and I held the office of caterer from that day till I
quitted the ship, by the strongest of all possible claims--first, by
election; and, secondly, by right of conquest.

We had not been many days at