"Not _or_, but _and_," replied the SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WAR, with a
simple dignity like that of ST. AUGUSTINE.

To poetry he is not greatly attached, preferring to leave this field
of letters to his staff. When asked for his favourite passage of
English verse he has indeed been known to cite a single line from Mr.
HILAIRE BELLOC'S _Modern Traveller_--

"That marsh, that admirable marsh!"

which is far from being Mr. BELLOC'S most mellifluous effort.

We feel bound to ask what is most likely to be the next outlet for
Mr. CHURCHILL'S ebullient activity. Remembering that bust upon his
mantelpiece it is hard to say. There are some who consider that,
prevented by the sluggishness of our times from the chance of
commanding an army in the field, he may turn his strategic mind at
last to the position of Postmaster-General. If he does there can be no
man better fitted than he to make our telephones hum.

K.

* * * * *

"A.--Comme vous voudrai.--P."

_Agony Column in Daily Paper_.

Taking advantage of "P.'s" kindness we may say that we prefer
"_voudrez_."

* * * * *

"A TRUE FISHING STORY.

Lady ---- is surprising everyone with her skill as an angler and a
shot. Last Friday, I am told, she caught two trout weighing 2-3/4
lb. and 3-1/4 lb. And on the same afternoon she got a right and a
left hit at a roebuck with a small four-bore gun!"--_Daily Paper_.

Not caring to believe that she mistook a roebuck for an elephant,
we are glad to note that the epithet "true" is only applied to the
"fishing" part of the story.

* * * * *

[Illustration: =THE ABYSMALISTS.=

BRITISH EXTREMIST. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?"

VOICE OF RUSSIAN BOLSHEVIST FROM BELOW. "DIGGING A GRAVE FOR THE
BOURGEOISIE."

BRITISH EXTREMIST. "THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO; BUT HOW DO YOU GET OUT?"

VOICE FROM BELOW. "YOU DON'T."]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _French Visitor_ (_inspecting artificial silk
stockings_). "SOIE?"

_Shopman_ (_formerly of the B.E.F., resourcefully_). "WELL, SCARCELY,
MADAM; SHALL WE SAY 'SOI-DISANT'?"]

* * * * *

CONTEMPORARY FOLK-SONGS.

"THE GRAVE OF THE BOORZH-WAW-ZE."

[The following folk-song is believed to be a local (and adult)
version of the ballad which, according to _The Times_, is now
being sung by