ong as hand-writing
experts. And if any Lavater had been on board and had advanced such
a theory he would have been as unpopular as JONAH, for the man's
wickedness was not only a joy to us but a support. Without it the
voyage would have been interminable.

What, we all wondered, had he done? Had he murdered as well as
destroyed so many happy homes? Was he crooked at cards? Our minds
became acutely active, but we could discover no more because the old
Colonel, the source of knowledge, had fallen ill and was invisible.

Meanwhile the screw revolved, sweepstakes were lost and won, deck
sports flourished, fancy-dress dances were held, concerts were
endured, a Colonial Bishop addressed us on Sunday mornings and the
tall dark man with the black moustache and different suits of well-cut
clothes sat in his chair and passed serenely from one OPPENHEIM to
another as though no living person were within leagues.

It was not until we were actually in port that the Colonel recovered
and I came into touch with him. Standing by the rail we took advantage
of the liberty to speak together, which on a ship such propinquity
sanctions. After we had exchanged a few remarks about the clumsiness
of the disembarking arrangements I referred to the man of mystery and
turpitude, and asked for particulars of some of his milder offences.

"Why do you suppose him such a blackguard?" he asked.

"But surely----" I began, a little disconcerted.

"He's a man," the Colonel continued, "that everyone should be sorry
for. He's a wreck, and he's going home now probably to receive his
death sentence."

This was a promising phrase and I cheered up a little, but only for a
moment.

"That poor devil," said the Colonel, "as I told Mrs. King earlier in
the voyage, has the worst liver in India."

E. V. L.

A VACILLATING POLICY.

(_A Warning against dealing with Disreputable Companies._)

When the Man of Insurance made his rounds
I "covered" my house for a thousand pounds;
Then someone started a fire in the grounds
At the end of a wild carouse.
The building was burnt; I made my claim
And the Man of Insurance duly came.
Said he, "Always
Our Company pays
Without any fuss or grouse;
But your home was rotted from drains to flues;
I therefore offer you as your dues
Seven hundred pounds or, if you choose,
A better and brighter house."

I took the money; I need not say
What abuse I hurled at