There remains but "half-a-brace."

* * * * *

[Illustration: _New Landlord._ "GEORGE, BILLIARDS WILL BE
EIGHTEENPENCE A HUNDRED."

_Potman._ "THAT'S MORE'N THEY PAID BEFORE, SIR."

_New Landlord._ "WHAT DID THEY PAY?"

_Potman._ "WELL, IT _WAS_ A BOB, BUT THEY MOSTLY SNEAKED OUT THROUGH
THAT DOOR."]

* * * * *

=Situations to Suit all Ages.=

"Lady-Typist (aged 1920) required for invoicing department of West
End wholesale firm."--_Daily Paper._

"Wanted, capable Person, about 3 years of age, to undertake all
household duties, country residence."--_Scottish Paper._

* * * * *

"DICK WHITTINGTON, 1920.

And, last of all, here is Dick WPhittington, otherwise known as
Alderman Roll, Lord Mayor of London."--_Evening Paper._

But for the headline we should never have recognised him.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The Beginner._ "I HOPE TO HEAVEN I'VE GOT THE LABELS
ON THE RIGHT STICKS, OR I'M DONE!"]

* * * * *

BEAU BRIMACOMBE.

"Well, Uncle Tom," I said, leaning over the gate, "and what did you
think of London?"

On Monday morning Uncle Tom Brimacombe had driven off in his trap with
his wife to the nearest station, five miles away, and had gone up to
London for the first time in his life, "to see about a legacy."

"Lunnon! mai laife. It's a vaine plaace. Ai used 'think Awkeyampton
was a big town, but ai'm barmed if Lunnon dawn't beat un.

"As you knaw, Zur, us 'ad to get up and gaw off 'bout three in th'
morn'n, and us got upalong Lunnon 'bout tain. Well, the waife knew 'er
waay 'bout, laike; 'er 's bin to Plymouth 'fore now. Zo when us gets
out of the traain us gaws inzaide a sort er caage what taakes us down
a 'awl in the ground. Ai was fraightened out 'me laife. 'Yer,' ai sez,
'wur be us gwaine then?'

"'Dawn'ee axno questions, me dyur,' sez the waife, 'or ai'll vorget
ahl what the guard in the traain tawld us.'

"Well, baimbai the caage stops gwaine down and us gets out, and ai'm
blawed if us wadn't in a staation ahl below the ground! Then a traain
comes out of anither 'awl, and befwer us 'ad zat down proper inzaide
un, 'er was off agaain, 'thout waitin' vur watter nor noth'n'. Well,
we zat us down and thur was tu little maids a-vaacin' us what 'adn'
mwer'n lef' school a yer'tu, and naw zinner do they zet eyes on