mocrats only got in soon enough he would go the way of my
grandfather. He admitted it. When I was appointed I expected the same
thing. In fact, some of our prominent Democrats told me so. I said, "All
right, bring on your bear. Bring on your Democratic President." So I
waited for that Democratic President about eight years. I got tired of
waiting. That is the only reason I resign now. [Laughter and applause.]

You take things so good-naturedly I will tell you one or two more
stories. One of the principal difficulties we have is in serving on the
jury. The members of the Merchants' Association always presented me with
a certificate showing that they were members of the Ancient and
Honorable Artillery Company.[12] [Laughter.] But a man who was not a
house guard came into my private office one day just as the jury was
about to be impanelled. Said he: "Judge, I hear you live out of town."
Said I: "Yes." Said he: "I guess you burn kerosene. You don't have
electric lights or anything of that kind? Well," said he, "if you will
let me off this jury I will give you the darnedest nice can of kerosene
ever you see." Said I: "Young man, I see in your mind the exact virtues
which would be most useful,--a justice and probity which will make you
serve the country most admirably as a juryman." So he served. I don't
know but that if it had been a barrel it might have been different.
[Great laughter.]

Another tried the intimidation dodge. He says: "Jedge, I have been
exposed to the small-pox, and expect it to break out every minute." Said
I: "Break!" [Laughter.] He broke into the jury box and served his
country well, and had no incapacitating disease that I ever heard of.

I don't know that there is much of anything else, except that I would
give some advice. I am going to draw up some rules for my successor, and
the first one will be: "Always decide in favor of the Merchants'
Association." When there are two Merchants' Associations together, in
different interests, then you must do like that jury in Kennebec county.
There was a jury there which was very prompt and satisfactory. When they
got through, the judge said: "Gentlemen, I thank you very much for the
very satisfactory character of your verdicts, for the great promptness
with which they have been rendered, without a single disagreement." The
foreman returned thanks for the compliment, and said that the jury had
escaped the delays and disagreements to which his Honor had referred