ars ago by another scientific corps, the Royal
Engineers.

_The Com._ But surely, Doctor, the officers you have mentioned know
something of their drill?

_Med. Off._ If that is the difficulty, let us make ourselves equally
proficient. The more we are in touch with the so-called combatant
officers the better.

_The Com._ Well, certainly, if you are good drills (and have some
knowledge of the internal economy of a regiment, and the rudiments
of military law) I cannot see why you should not enjoy the rank to
which you aspire. I wish you every success in your application. After
all, you are masters of the situation. If your superior officers are
unreasonable--physic them!

[_The Witness after returning thanks, then withdrew._

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

AT A COUNTRY HOUSE.

"_So glad you have a fine day for your garden-party. Was quite anxious
about the weather;_" i.e., "Hoped sincerely it would rain hard--hate
garden-parties--can't think why I'm here."

"_How good of you to undertake such a long drive!_" i.e., "hoped it
would choke her off."

"_So sweet of you to have brought your dear children;_" i.e., "Greedy
little pigs!--gobble up everything before the real guests arrive."

"_Must you_ really _go?_" i.e., "About time--you're the last but one."

"_Now mind--this is Liberty Hall--I always think true hospitality is,
letting people do just what they like;_" i.e., "_If_ he's late for
breakfast--and IF he shirks driving with Mrs. MORSON!"

"_We lunch at half-past one. But don't trouble to be punctual. Quite a
moveable feast;_" i.e., "If he's unpunctual, he won't forget it."

"_Such a lovely drive I want to take you this afternoon;_" i.e.,
"_Must_ pay that call to-day."

"_Going to-morrow? Oh_, do _stay--we had looked forward to quite a
week more._ Can't _you alter it?_" i.e., "Quite safe. Know he's _got_
to go."

"_Such a sweet girl to have in the house!_" i.e., "Slaves for her from
morning till night."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A SEASIDE REGATTA.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: HAPPY THOUGHT.--DAVID COX REDIVIVUS!]

* * * * *

ALL THE YEAR ROUND;

_OR, KEEPING UP THE BALL._

When September soaks the fields,
And the leaves begin to fall,
Cricket unto Football yields,--
That is all!

Yes--in hot or humid weather,
At all