; and made
it known that the ships were at liberty to send on shore and purchase
whatever refreshments they were in want of during the time they might
be off the island." A youth, by name Don Bernardo Collagon, stripped
himself of his shirt to make bandages for one of those Englishmen
against whom, not an hour before, he had been engaged in battle. Nelson
wrote to thank the governor for the humanity which he had displayed.
Presents were interchanged between them. Sir Horatio offered to take
charge of his despatches for the Spanish Government, and thus actually
became the first messenger to Spain of his own defeat.

The total loss of the English in killed, wounded, and drowned, amounted
to 250. Nelson made no mention of his own wound in his official
despatches; but in a private letter to Lord St. Vincent--the first
which he wrote with his left hand--he shows himself to have been deeply
affected by the failure of this enterprise. "I am become," he said, "a
burthen to my friends, and useless to my country; but by my last letter
you will perceive my anxiety for the promotion of my son-in-law, Josiah
Nisbet. When I leave your command I become dead to the world--'I go
hence, and am no more seen.' If from poor Bowen's loss, you think it
proper to oblige me, I rest confident you will do it. The boy is under
obligations to me, but he repaid me by bringing me from the mole of
Santa Cruz. I hope you will be able to give me a frigate to convey the
remains of my carcass to England." "A left-handed admiral," he said in a
subsequent letter, "will never again be considered as useful; therefore
the sooner I get to a very humble cottage the better, and make room for
a sounder man to serve the state." His first letter to Lady Nelson was
written under the same opinion, but in a more cheerful strain. "It was
the chance of war," said he, "and I have great reason to be thankful:
and I know it will add much to your pleasure to find that Josiah, under
God's providence, was principally instrumental in saving my life. I
shall not be surprised if I am neglected and forgotten: probably I
shall no longer be considered as useful; however, I shall feel rich if
I continue to enjoy your affection. I beg neither you nor my father
will think much of this mishap; my mind has long been made up to such an
event."

His son-in-law, according to his wish, was immediately promoted; and
honours enough to heal his wounded spirit awaited him in England.
Letters w