hout so much as asking for it. Course you
couldn't say anything against it, or you might set up his back against
you. So one day he was coming round as usual, and he spies that
particler fine black plum on the woman's stall, and before she could
prevent it he had hold of it. I s'pose it was her pouncing on him so
quick confused him, and prewented him feeling the extra weight of it.
'Don't take that 'un, Mr. Grabbum,' she said; 'it isn't ripe. Let me
pick you out a ripe 'un.' But old Grabbum he only grinned and winked,
and popped it into his mouth. But he didn't keep it there long. He made
one bite at it, and then he began to dance and splutter, which, being an
uncommon thing for a beadle to do, soon brought a crowd round him. But
it was wuss than we had first thought it was. We didn't know that the
greedy old warment had false teeth, but he had, and he broke 'em all to
shivereens along with the iron plum, which fell with such a whack on the
pavement that there was no mistaking what it was made for."

A SMALL BOY'S ANSWER.

At a country school in England it is said that one of the examiners in a
general exercise wrote the word "dozen" on the blackboard, and asked the
pupils to each write a sentence containing the word. He was somewhat
taken aback to find on one of the papers the following sentence, "I
dozen know my lesson."

A STUPID BUTLER

Spanish people seem to suffer from the stupidity of some of their
servants as much as we do in America, if the following story, which
appeared in a Madrid journal, is true. It seems that a lady ordered her
butler one morning to tell all visitors that she was not at home. At
night, when enumerating the persons who had called during the day, he
mentioned the lady's sister, when his mistress exclaimed: "I told you,
man, that I was always at home for my sister! You ought to have shown
her in."

Next day the lady went out to make a few calls, and during her absence
her sister came to the house.

"Is your mistress at home?" she asked the butler.

"Yes, madam," was his reply.

The lady went up stairs, and looked everywhere for her sister. On coming
down stairs she said to the butler, "My sister must have gone out, for I
could not find her."

"Yes, madam, she has gone out, but she told me last night that she was
always at home for you."

STRUCK TOO SOON.

Napoleon Bonaparte at one time contemplated an invasion of England, and
so certain was he of succes