t on his head, he made a figure so comical that even
Hogarth's humour can scarcely parallel; yet our hero thought himself of
something else to render his disguise more impenetrable: he therefore
borrowed a little hump-backed child of a tinker, and two more of some
others of his community. There remained now only in what situation to
place the children, and it was quickly resolved to tie two to his back,
and to take the other in his arms.

Thus accoutred, and thus hung with helpless infants, he marched forwards
for Mr. Pleydell's; coming up to the door, he put his hand behind him,
and pinched one of the children, which set it a roaring; this gave the
alarm to the dogs, so that between their barking and the child's crying,
the whole family was sufficiently disturbed. Out came the maid, crying,
Carry away the children, old woman, they disturb the ladies. God bless
their ladyships, I am the poor unfortunate grandmother to these poor
helpless infants, whose dear mother and all they had was burnt at the
dreadful fire at Kirton, and hope the good ladies, for God's sake, will
bestow something on the poor famishing starving infants. This moving
story was accompanied with tears; upon which, the maid ran in to acquaint
the ladies with this melancholy tale, while the good grandmother kept
pinching one or other of the children, that they might play their parts
to greater perfection; the maid soon returned with a half crown from the
ladies, and some good broth, which he went into the court-yard to eat,
(understanding the gentlemen were not in the house,) and got one of the
under-servants, whom he met, to give some to the children on his back.
He had not long been there, before the gentlemen all came in together,
who accosted him with, Where did you come from, my good old woman? From
Kirton, please your honours, where the poor unfortunate mother of these
helpless babes was burnt to death by the flames, and all they had
consumed.

D---n you, said one of the gentlemen, (who is well known by the name of
Worthy Sir, and was particularly acquainted with Mr. Carew,) there has
been more money collected for Kirton than ever Kirton was worth; however,
he gave this good old grandmother a shilling, the other gentlemen
likewise relieved her, commiserating her age, and her burden of so many
helpless infants; not one of them discovering our hero in the old woman,
who received their alms very thankfully, and pretended to go away.

But the gen