an old fool," quoted Rachel to herself; and it
was remarkable that until this moment she had never thought of Mr. Steel
as either elderly or old. His eyes were young; his voice was young; she
could hear him and see him still, so the strong impression was not all
on one side. No more, it would seem, was the fascination. Rachel,
indeed, owned to no such feeling, even in her inmost heart. But she did
begin to blame herself, alike for her reception of advances which might
well have been dictated by mere eccentric benevolence, and for her
readiness now to put another construction upon them. And all this time
she was threading the streets of Chelsea at a pace suggestive of a
destination and a purpose, while in her mind she did nothing but look
back.
Impulsive by nature, Rachel had also the courage of each impulse while
it lasted; on the other hand, if quick to act, she was only too ready to
regret. Like many another whose self-reliance is largely on the surface,
an achievement of the will and not the gift of a temperament, she
usually paid for a display of spirit with the most dispiriting
reaction; and this was precisely the case in point. Rachel was ashamed
alike of her rudeness and her vanity; the latter she traced to its
source. It was inspired by vague memories of other women who had been
through the same ordeal as herself. One had been handed a bouquet in the
dock; another had been overwhelmed by proposals of marriage. Rachel
herself had received letters of which the first line was enough. But
there had been no letter from Mr. Steel. Ah! but he had attended her
trial; she remembered him now, his continual presence had impressed
itself very subtly upon her mind, without the definite memory of a
single glance; and after the trial he sent her his card, he dogged her
in the train! What was she to think? There was the voice in which he had
offered her his aid; there was the look in his eyes; there was the
delicate indirectness of that offer.
A year or two ago, with all her independence, Rachel would not have been
so ready to repel one whose advances, however unwarrantable in
themselves, were yet marked by so many evidences of sympathy and
consideration. She had not always been suspicious and repellent; and she
sighed to think how sadly she must have changed, even before the
nightmare of the last few weeks.
But a more poignant reminder of her married life was now in store for
Rachel Minchin. She had come to Chelsea becau
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