o my creed;
But, since to me LLOYD GEORGE is
A source of deeper dread,
For Bolshevistic orgies
A great deal may be said.

I hold a brief for no land
That tramples on its kin;
My heart once bled for Poland
And groaned for Russia's sin;
But, if to clear the tangle
WINSTON is given his head,
I feel that General WRANGEL
Were better downed and dead.

I hold no brief--I swear it--
For militant Sinn Fein;
I really cannot bear it
When constables are slain;
But if you mention CARSON
I feel that for the spread
Of murder and of arson
A good deal can be said.

I hold no brief for SMILLIE
Or for the miners' claims;
I disapprove most highly
Of many of their aims;
But when I see the Wizard
Enthroned in ASQUITH'S stead,
It cuts me to the gizzard
And dyes my vision Red.

I hold no brief for madmen
On revolution bent,
For bitter or for bad men
On anarchy intent;
But sooner far than "stop" them
With Coalition lead,
To foster and to prop them
I'd leave no word unsaid.

* * * * *

=Our Decadent Poets.=

Extract from an Indian's petition:--

"... to look after my old father, who leads sickly life, and is
going from bad to verse every day."

* * * * *

"So far from Mr. Kameneff having had nothing to do with any
realisation of jewels, he ... took plains to report it to his
Government."--_Daily Paper._

In fact, he took the necessary steppes.

* * * * *

"A privately owned aeroplane, flying from London to the Isle of
Wight, descended in a field near Carnforth, seven miles north of
Morecambe Bay. The propeller was broken, but the occupants, a lady
and a gentleman, escaped with a shaking."--_Daily Paper._

The real shock came when they found out where they were.

* * * * *

[Illustration: =THE PRESS PHOTOGRAPH.=

WHEN A FELLOW GETS HIS--

PHOTO TAKEN FOR THE PAPERS--

I THINK IT'S ROTTEN BAD FORM--

ON THE PART OF ANOTHER FELLOW--

TO SPOIL THE PICTURE BY INTRUDING A BALL--

AT THE CRUCIAL MOMENT.]

* * * * *

THE HANDY MAN.

The men I most admire at the present time, though I take care not to
tell them so to their faces, are the men who can do everything. By
this I don't mean people of huge intelle