of the East India Company? The whole of the
past lies before you. Give your children a fair start in life, that
is what we say. Money is good, education is better, but distinguished
ancestry is best of all."

* * * * *

=Stitches in Time.=

"The breeches on the line between Sini and Jhursagudha have now
been repaired."--_Civil and Military Gazette._

* * * * *

"The King has given Mr. William Armstrong, Director of Criminal
Intelligence of the Shanghai Municipal Police, authority to wear
the Insignia of the Fourth Class of the Order of the Excellent
Crop, conferred on him by the President of the Republic of China,
in recognition of valuable services."--_Times._

We understand that extreme shortness of hair is not the hall-mark of
the Chinese criminal world.

* * * * *

[Illustration: UNDER A CLOUD (WITH A GOLDEN LINING).

COMRADE LANSBURY. "THANKS TO MY FAITHFUL BROLSKI NOT A DROP HAS
TOUCHED ME."

[_Loud crows from "Daily Herald" bird._]]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Horrified Sister_ (_to small artist_). "MABEL, YOU'RE
SURELY NOT SUCKING YOUR BRUSH WHEN YOU'RE PAINTING TOADSTOOLS?"]

* * * * *

KINGS AND QUEENS.

There are thirty-six of them in all, ranging from WILLIAM I., who
is "severe," to VICTORIA, who is just "good." I first made their
acquaintance in childhood, when my grandmother gave them me with the
laudable object of teaching me history. Each is a little wooden block
signifying a monarch. On one side there is a portrait showing the
face, collar and upper portion of torso of the monarch in question;
on the other side there is written a single word summing up his whole
character.

By means of these royal blocks I was brought up to a sound historical
sense based on religion and morality. At the age of seven I could
and did boast that I knew the innermost souls of all the monarchs
of England. I could say their dates by heart, often doing so during
sermon time on Sundays, with a grace and ease that only lifelong
acquaintance with royalty could have bred. I was even able to triumph
through that tricky period between the death of EDWARD III. and the
accession of ELIZABETH. I wonder if the late Lord ACTON was as learned
at that age: I am sure he could not say his dates backwards. I could.

It has always surpris