it to
be lying, any more than a President considers the tough statements lying
that he makes in his annual message. A showman and a politician must be
allowed a little liberty of statement, or they couldn't carry on their
business. Well, as I was saying, thishyer Major Microbe was in my show a
matter of ten years ago, when we were in Cincinnati, and he was about as
vicious as they make them. The Giant, who was a good seven-footer,
working up to seven and a half feet, as an engineer might say, with the
help of his boots and helmet, was the exact opposite of the Dwarf in
disposition. He was altogether too good-tempered, for he was always
trying to play practical jokes on the other Freaks. He did this without
any notion of annoying them, but it was injudicious; he being, like all
other Giants, weak and brittle.

"What do I mean by brittle? Why, I mean brittle and nothing else. It's a
good United States word, I reckon. Thishyer Giant's bones weren't made
of the proper materials, and they were always liable to break. He had to
take the greatest care of himself, and to avoid arguing on politics or
religion or anything like that, for a kick on the shins would be sure to
break one of his legs, which would lay him on the shelf for a couple of
months. As for his arms, he was for ever breaking one or two of them,
but that didn't so much matter, for he could go on the stage with his
arm in splints and a sling, and the public always supposed that he was
representing a heroic soldier who had just returned from the
battle-field.

[Illustration: "HE FOUND THE DWARF ASLEEP ON A BENCH."]

"One day the Giant put up a job on the Dwarf that afterwards got them
both into serious trouble. The Giant was loafing around the place after
dinner, and he found the Dwarf asleep on a bench. What does he do but
cover him up with a rug and then go off in search of the Fat Woman, who
was a sure enough Fat Woman, and weighed in private life four hundred
and nineteen pounds. The Giant was popular with the sex, and the Fat
Woman was glad to accept his invitation to come with him and listen to a
scheme that he pretended to have for increasing the attractions of Fat
Women. He led her up to where the Dwarf was asleep on the bench and
invited her to sit down, saying that he had arranged a cushion for her
to make her comfortable. Of course she sat down, and sat down pretty
solid, too, directly on the Dwarf. The Dwarf yelled as if he had room
for the voice of