ion to each other, and
derision of me (as I made it out) quite turned my frantic humour into a
vindictive one.

My aunt then just coming down to me, and taking my hand led me up; and
tried to sooth me.

My raving was turned into sullenness.

She preached patience and obedience to me.

I was silent.

At last she desired me to assure her, that I would offer no violence to
myself.

God, I said, had given me more grace, I hoped, than to permit me to be
guilty of so horrid a rashness, I was his creature, and not my own.

She then took leave of me; and I insisted upon her taking down with her
the odious parchments.

Seeing me in so ill an humour, and very earnest that she should take
them with her, she took them; but said, that my father should not know
that she did: and hoped I would better consider of the matter, and be
calmer next time they were offered to my perusal.

I revolved after she was gone all that my brother and sister had said.
I dwelt upon their triumphings over me; and found rise in my mind
a rancour that was new to me; and which I could not withstand.--And
putting every thing together, dreading the near day, what could I
do?--Am I in any manner excusable for what I did do?--If I shall be
condemned by the world, who know not my provocations, may I be acquitted
by you?--If not, I am unhappy indeed!--for this I did.

Having shaken off the impertinent Betty, I wrote to Mr. Lovelace, to
let him know, 'That all that was threatened at my uncle Antony's, was
intended to be executed here. That I had come to a resolution to throw
myself upon the protection of either of his two aunts, who would afford
it me--in short, that by endeavouring to obtain leave on Monday to dine
in the ivy summer-house, I would, if possible, meet him without the
garden-door, at two, three, four, or five o'clock on Monday afternoon,
as I should be able. That in the mean time he should acquaint me,
whether I might hope for either of those ladies' protection: and if I
might, I absolutely insisted that he should leave me with either, and go
to London himself, or remain at Lord M.'s; nor offer to visit me, till I
were satisfied that nothing could be done with my friends in an amicable
way; and that I could not obtain possession of my own estate, and leave
to live upon it: and particularly, that he should not hint marriage to
me, till I consented to hear him upon that subject.--I added, that if
he could prevail upon one of the Misses Mo