hen they see what
sacrifices I am ready to make, to be freed from his addresses?--Oh! but
I suppose the struggle is, first, with Bella's nicety, to persuade her
to accept of the estate, and of the husband; and next, with her pride,
to take her sister's refusals, as she once phrased it!--Or, it may
be, my brother is insisting upon equivalents for his reversion in the
estate: and these sort of things take up but too much the attention of
some of our family. To these, no doubt, one or both, it must be owing,
that my proposal admits of so much consideration.

I want, methinks, to see what Mr. Lovelace, in his letter, says. But I
will deny myself this piece of curiosity till that which is raised by my
present suspense is answered.--Excuse me, my dear, that I thus trouble
you with my uncertainties: but I have no employment, nor heart, if I
had, to pursue any other but what my pen affords me.

MONDAY EVENING.

Would you believe it?--Betty, by anticipation, tells me, that I am to be
refused. I am 'a vile, artful creature. Every body is too good to me.
My uncle Harlowe has been taken in, that's the phrase. They know how
it would be, if he either wrote to me, or saw me. He has, however, been
made ashamed to be so wrought upon. A pretty thing truly in the eye of
the world it would be, were they to take me at my word! It would look
as if they had treated me thus hardly, as I think it, for this very
purpose. My peculiars, particularly Miss Howe, would give it that
turn; and I myself could mean nothing by it, but to see if it would be
accepted in order to strengthen my own arguments against Mr. Solmes. It
was amazing, that it could admit of a moment's deliberation: that any
thing could be supposed to be done in it. It was equally against law and
equity: and a fine security Miss Bella would have, or Mr. Solmes, when I
could resume it when I would!--My brother and she my heirs! O the artful
creature!--I to resolve to live single, when Lovelace is so sure of
me--and every where declares as much!--and can whenever he pleases,
if my husband, claim under the will!--Then the insolence--the
confidence--[as Betty mincingly told me, that one said; you may easily
guess who] that she, who was so justly in disgrace for downright
rebellion, should pretend to prescribe to the whole family!--Should name
a husband for her elder sister!--What a triumph would her obstinacy go
away with, to delegate her commands, not as from a prison, as she called