y easiness; the other your own presumption. Since
you think you have found out the first, and have shown so much of the
last upon it, I am too much alarmed, not to wish and desire, that your
letter of this day may conclude all the trouble you had from, or for,
Your humble servant, CL. HARLOWE.
*****
I believe, my dear, I may promise myself your approbation, whenever I
write or speak with spirit, be it to whom it will. Indeed, I find but
too much reason to exert it, since I have to deal with people, who
govern themselves in their conduct to me, not by what is fit or decent,
right or wrong, but by what they think my temper will bear. I have, till
very lately, been praised for mine; but it has always been by those who
never gave me opportunity to return the compliment to them. Some people
have acted, as if they thought forbearance on one side absolutely
necessary for them and me to be upon good terms together; and in this
case have ever taken care rather to owe that obligation than to lay it.
You have hinted to me, that resentment is not natural to my temper, and
that therefore it must soon subside: it may be so with respect to my
relations; but not to Mr. Lovelace, I assure you.
WEDNESDAY NOON, MARCH 29.
We cannot always answer for what we can do: but to convince you, that I
can keep my above resolution, with regard to Mr. Lovelace, angry as my
letter is, and three hours since it was written, I assure you, that I
repent it not; nor will soften it, although I find it is not taken away.
And yet I hardly ever before did any thing in anger, that I did not
repent in half an hour; and question myself in less that that time,
whether I was right or wrong.
In this respite till Tuesday, I have a little time to look about me,
as I may say, and to consider of what I have to do, and can do. And Mr.
Lovelace's insolence will make me go very home with myself. Not that I
think I can conquer my aversion to Mr. Solmes. I am sure I cannot. But,
if I absolutely break with Mr. Lovelace, and give my friends convincing
proofs of it, who knows but they will restore me to their favour, and
let their views in relation to the other man go off by degrees?--Or,
at least, that I may be safe till my cousin Morden arrives: to whom,
I think, I will write; and the rather, as Mr. Lovelace has assured
me, that my friends have written to him to make good their side of the
question.
But, with all my courage, I am exceedingly apprehensive
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