--at all events, impossible for me to do so unaided. I need
the help and support of some one. Now, there is Lubov Sergievna; SHE
understands me, and could help me in this, and I know by my notebook
that I have greatly improved in this respect during the past year.
Ah, my dear Nicolinka"--he spoke with the most unusual and unwonted
tenderness, and in a tone which had grown calmer now that he had made
his confession--"how much the influence of a woman like Lubov could do
for me! Think how good it would be for me if I could have a friend like
her to live with when I have become independent! With her I should be
another man."

And upon that Dimitri began to unfold to me his plans for marriage, for
a life in the country, and for continual self-discipline.

"Yes, I will live in the country," he said, "and you shall come to see
me when you have married Sonetchka. Our children shall play together.
All this may seem to you stupid and ridiculous, yet it may very well
come to pass."

"Yes, it very well may" I replied with a smile, yet thinking how much
nicer it would be if I married his sister.

"I tell you what," he went on presently; "you only imagine yourself to
be in love with Sonetchka, whereas I can see that it is all rubbish, and
that you do not really know what love means."

I did not protest, for, in truth, I almost agreed with him, and for a
while we lay without speaking.

"Probably you have noticed that I have been in my old bad humour today,
and have had a nasty quarrel with Varia?" he resumed. "I felt bad about
it afterwards--more particularly since it occurred in your presence.
Although she thinks wrongly on some subjects, she is a splendid girl and
very good, as you will soon recognise."

His quick transition from mention of my love affairs to praise of his
sister pleased me extremely, and made me blush, but I nevertheless said
nothing more about his sister, and we went on talking of other things.

Thus we chattered until the cocks had crowed twice. In fact, the pale
dawn was already looking in at the window when at last Dimitri lay down
upon his bed and put out the candle.

"Well, now for sleep," he said.

"Yes," I replied, "but--"

"But what?"

"Now nice it is to be alive in the daylight!"

"Yes, it IS a splendid thing!" he replied in a voice which, even in the
darkness, enabled me to see the expression of his cheerful, kindly eyes
and boyish smile.

XXVIII. IN THE COUNTRY

Next day Wolod