ry Alderman will have allowed him a whole quart of beer,
and beer of the bitterest into the bargain.

* * * * *

A FEARFUL STRIKE.--Talking of Strikes, we hope the EMPEROR OF RUSSIA
will not take it into his head to strike the balance of Europe.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WAITING FOR THE CARRIAGE.

_Charlie._ "THIS WILL BE A STUPID AFFAIR, GEORGY."

_Georgy._ "OH, YES--ONLY A WHITE FROCK AND BLACK MITTEN PARTY--VERY
SLOW!"

[_Old Nurse wonders what next._]

* * * * *

SONGS OF THE GEOLOGICAL SOCIETY.

Adapted by a Late President.

AIR.--"_O a' the Airts the Wind can blaw._"

O a' the airts the wind can blaw
I dearly like the west,
For there Silurian beds abound,
The beds that I lo'e best;
There's limestone blue, and sandstone too,
Wi' slate and shale between.
And deep below, the coarse grits go,
Wi' purple slates and green.

There's trilobites in Bala bed,
Product as in coal shale,
There's mony a fish in Auld, Auld Red,
Wi' heterocercal tail;
There's no a Mezozoic rock
Hauds trilobites within,
There's mony a Palaeozoic block
Whar trilobites are seen.

* * * * *

COBDEN ON EVIL SPIRITS.

MR. COBDEN has written another of those pithy letters on great
principles that--some day--will make a very charming little volume of
_Cobdeniana_. He is solicited to give his opinion on the best mode of
"Opening the trade in spirits?"

"The best way," replies sagacious RICHARD, "of dealing with the monopoly
of spirits is to abstain from drinking them, which for upwards of twenty
years I have done."--Spirits make felons, lunatics, and suicides, says
MR. COBDEN. Hence, the Bottle might surmount Newgate and Bedlam. MR.
COBDEN does not drink spirits; but, moderately, he drinks wine--wine
that cheereth the heart of man? Will he, then, do his best that the
masses of his countrymen may take a glass with him? The wine-growers of
France want to sell us pure, cheap, healthy wine--wine that would soon
destroy burning gin, inflammatory brandy. France needs iron, England
claret. Will MR. COBDEN, if only as an apostle of peace, help us, that
we may exchange British metal for Gallic grape? We should like to drive
the English "pig" into the French vineyard.

* * * * *

NOTHING--A NEW DEFINITION.--That portion of a lady