s, for there are
just as good chairs in the sea as ever were caught, and it would ill
become me to deprive a gentleman of his chair when by exercising a
little energy I can gain one for myself, although I am willing to
admit that I have a slight hunger upon me. 'Tis a fine morning, sir."

He had turned pale and was edging toward the door. "'Tis at your
service, sir," he repeated in a low and frightened voice. All the
people were staring at us.

"No, good sir," I remonstrated, stepping forward to explain. "I would
not be having you think that I am unable to get a chair for myself,
since I am above everything able and swift with my hands, and it is a
small thing to get a chair for one's self and not deprive a worthy
gentleman of his own."

"I did not think to deprive you, sir," he ejaculated desperately. "The
chair is at your service, sir!"

"Plague the man!" I cried, stamping my foot impatiently; and at the
stamping of my foot a waiter let fall a dish, some women screamed,
three or four people disappeared through the door, and a venerable
gentleman arose from his seat in a corner and in a tremulous voice
said:

"Sir, let us pray you that there be no bloodshed."

"You are an old fool," said I to him. "How could there be bloodshed
with me here merely despising you all for not knowing what I mean when
I say it."

"We know you mean what you say, sir," responded the old gentleman.
"Pray God you mean peaceably!"

"Hoity-toity!" shouted a loud voice, and I saw a great, tall, ugly
woman bearing down upon me from the doorway. "Out of my way," she
thundered at a waiter. The man gasped out: "Yes, your ladyship!"

I was face to face with the mother of my lovely Mary.

"Hoity-toity!" she shouted at me again. "A brawler, eh? A lively
swordster, hey? A real damn-my-eyes swaggering bully!"

Then she charged upon me. "How dare you brawl with these inoffensive
people under the same roof which shelters me, fellow? By my word, I
would have pleasure to give you a box on the ear!"

"Madam," I protested hurriedly. But I saw the futility of it. Without
devoting further time to an appeal, I turned and fled. I dodged behind
three chairs and moved them hastily into a rampart.

"Madam," I cried, feeling that I could parley from my new position,
"you labour under a misapprehension."

"Misapprehend me no misapprehensions," she retorted hotly. "How dare
you say that I can misapprehend anything, wretch?"

She attacked each flank in