had pounced upon the drama of
the time and was tearing its ears and eyes off.

At that time I knew little of the drama, having never read or seen a
play in my life; but I was all for the drama on account of poor Bobbs,
who kept chewing his lip and making nervous movements until Fullbil
finished, a thing which I thought was not likely to happen before an
early hour of the morning. But finish he did, and immediately Bobbs,
much impassioned, brought his glass heavily down on the table in a
demand for silence. I thought he would get little hearing, but, much
to my surprise, I heard again the ecstatic murmur: "Ah, now, we shall
hear Bobbs reply to Fullbil!"--"Are we not fortunate?"--"Faith, this
will be over half London to-morrow!"

Bobbs waited until this murmur had passed away. Then he began, nailing
an impressive forefinger to the table:

"Sir, you have been contending at some length that the puzzling
situations which form the basis of our dramas of the day could not
possibly occur in real life because five minutes of intelligent
explanation between the persons concerned would destroy the silly
mystery before anything at all could happen. Your originality, sir, is
famous--need I say it?--and when I hear you champion this opinion in
all its majesty of venerable age and general acceptance I feel stunned
by the colossal imbecile strength of the whole proposition. Why, sir,
you may recall all the mysterious murders which occurred in England
since England had a name. The truth of them remains in unfathomable
shadow. But, sir, any one of them could be cleared up in five minutes'
intelligent explanation. Pontius Pilate could have been saved his
blunder by far, far, far less than five minutes of intelligent
explanation. But--mark ye!--but who has ever heard five minutes of
intelligent explanation? The complex interwoven mesh of life
constantly, eternally, prevents people from giving intelligent
explanations. You sit in the theatre, and you say to yourself: 'Well,
I could mount the stage, and in a short talk to these people I could
anticipate a further continuation of the drama.' Yes, you could; but
you are an outsider. You have no relations with these characters. You
arise like an angel. Nobody has been your enemy; nobody has been your
mistress. You arise and give the five minutes' intelligent
explanation; bah! There is not a situation in life which does not need
five minutes' intelligent explanation; but it does not get it."