, look 'e here, my
trump, its a farden more to
the tizzy--that's what it is.

_Member_. What's that?

_Boy._ Why, you knows a
sixpence when you sees it.
(_Aside_). Blest if I think he
does! Well, its six browns and
a farden now. A lady buys two
oranges, and forks {179} out a
sixpence; well in coorse, I
hands over fippence farden
astead of fippence. I always
gives a farden more change,
and takes according.

_Member_ (_in utter surprise,
lets his oranges tumble into
the gutter_). Never mind! They
won't be wanted now. (_Walks
off one way. Boy makes a pass
of naso-digital mesmerism, and
walks off the other way_).

To the poor, who keep no books, the whole secret is "Sixpence farthing to
the half shilling, twelve pence halfpenny to the shilling." The _new
twopence halfpenny_, or cent, will be at once five to the shilling.

In conclusion, we remark that three very common misconceptions run through
the hon. Member's argument; and, combined in different proportions, give
variety to his patterns.

First, he will have it that we design to bring the uneducated into contact
with _decimal fractions_. If it be so, it will only be as M. Jourdain was
brought into contact with prose. In fact, _Quoi! quand je dis, Nicole,
apportez-moi mes pantoufles, c'est de la prose?_[305] may be rendered:
"What! do you mean that _ten to the florin is a cent a piece_ must be
called decimal reckoning?" If we had to comfort a poor man, horror-struck
by the threat of _decimals_, we should tell him what manner of fractions
had been inflicted upon him hitherto; nothing less awful than
_quarto-duodecimo-vicesimals_, we should assure him.

Secondly, he assumes that the penny, such as it now is, will remain, as a
coin of estimation, after it has ceased to be a coin of exchange; and that
the m