es
from girls who have been mistaken in supposing themselves loved by men
who have grown tired of them. A girl often suffers intensely in such a
case, and it is hard to know how much is due to wounded love, and how
much to wounded pride. I suppose most of us have been astonished to see
how often when a girl's life seems both to herself and her friends to
have been utterly wrecked she is capable of responding to a new lover,
and if he proves to be a fine man, how full and fine her own life
becomes. This is right, and most natural to the most emotional natures,
that is, to those which answer most readily to outside influences. Yet
we all have a feeling that sudden and frequent changes of this kind show
a shallow character, and girls sometimes make a pathetic struggle to
resist new possibilities of happiness, because they cannot bear to admit
that the old love can die.

The weakness of character in this case comes from the being ready to
love any one who will make us the central figure without regard to any
more solid foundation. Such love comes from vanity and is good for
nothing. A girl cannot be too careful to guard against such an emotion.

And then, why should a woman cease to love a man simply because she is
disappointed to find that he does not love her? Many times the fault is
her own. She has believed he loved her because she wished to believe
so. But if she has loved him because he was worth being loved, she has a
right to cherish that love even when she knows it is hopeless, provided
she does not hurt other people. I think it is happily not often that an
altogether hopeless love continues long in full vigor, but occasionally
it does. If the old lover marries, the woman who cannot conquer her love
certainly ought to separate herself as far from him as possible. Any
fine theory of being able to be a silent providence in his life is sure
to prove fallacious, and to bring suffering to somebody. And it is not
best for her to say much to her own friends of her sorrow. She either
pains them or tires them. Any love which causes her to do this is
unreasonable. I suspect that some women find their love slipping away
from them and try to hold it fast by the expedient of talking about it.
No love that has to be held in that way is worth keeping. There are
loves we should cherish just as there are others which we ought to cast
out, but nothing is real which cannot be retained except by making
ourselves a burden to other peo