p.... Do you realise that
this is the only night in the year when you can get a willie-waucht at
this hour? What a world!

Six years. Do you see that nice couple over there? I bet they haven't
been married as long as we have. And I bet they're not so bankrupt.
This is going to be a dreadful year. I can see that at once. But we'll
keep the flag flying.

Ah, here come the willie-wauchts. Thank you, waiter.

Well, my dear--a cup of kindness with you. Here's luck!

A. P. H.

* * * * *

NATURAL HISTORY ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD.

"St. Columb's Court and North-End met at The Farm, when
St. Columb's Court were the victors by three goats to
one."--_Irish Paper._

* * * * *

"Harry ---- (19), described as a comedian, was bound over in
L5 for six months under the rug, the property of Hilda ----."

_Provincial Paper._

It seems that HARRY was not the only comedian in court.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A BOXING NIGHTMARE.

THE GOOD FAIRY GEORGINA. "I WAVE MY WAND--UTOPIA DOTH APPEAR ...
(_extemporising_) SOMETHING'S GONE WRONG. O DEAR! O DEAR! O DEAR!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Post-War Sportsman._ "THE HOUNDS MEET ON THE LAWN
TO-MORROW, MY DEAR. WE MUST GIVE THEM A STIRRUP-CUP."

_Wife._ "I HOPE THE CHEF KNOWS HOW TO MAKE IT. IF NOT I SUPPOSE
CLARET-CUP WOULD DO?"]

* * * * *

ELIZABETH'S CHRISTMAS.

"I've always thort 'ow I'd love to 'ave a reel nice Christmas,"
remarked Elizabeth--"a jolly proper kind o' one, you know, 'm."

"Don't you find Christmas a pleasant time, then?" I inquired.

"Well, you see, 'm, I bin in service ever since I was turned fifteen,
an' you know wot Christmas in service is. An extry tip, I will say,
but a lot of extry work to go along with it--and wot washin' up!
Some'ow it orl seems so different in books an' on the pictures."

She sighed as she spoke and a look that was almost human crept into
the arid region of her countenance. A feeling of compunction swept
over me. Was it possible that this poor simple girl concealed depths
of conviviality in her nature and a genial disposition which I, in
common with all her former employers, had carelessly overlooked? I
will admit that this unexpected phase in Elizabeth's character touched
and interested me.

"Elizabeth," I cried in a sudden glow of enthusia