h golden prong;
Like HORACE, in a frugal home
I'd gladly rub along,
Contented with the humblest cot
Or shack or hut, if it had got
A name like Billabong,
Or, better still, like Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong.

Sweet is the music of the spheres,
Majestic is Mong Blong,
And bland the beverage that cheers,
Called Sirupy Souchong;
But sweeter, more inspiring far
Than tea or peak or tuneful star
I deem it to belong
To such a place as Beeyah-byyah-bunniga-nelliga-jong.

* * * * *

OUR STYLISTS.

"It is the desire of the Management that nothing of an
objectionable character shall appear on the stage or in the
auditorium, and they ask the co-operation of the audience
in suppressing same by apprising them of anything that may
escape their notice."

_From a provincial Hippodrome programme._

* * * * *

From the evidence in a juvenile larceny case:--

"The Father: Devils seem to be getting into everyone nowadays,
not only in boys, but in human beings."

_Devon and Exeter Gazette_.

A delicate distinction.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Win-the-War Vice-President of our Supply Depot (doing
grand rounds)._ "HERE AGAIN IS A FIFTH GLARING EXAMPLE. THE HEM OF
THIS BAG IS AN EIGHTEENTH OF AN INCH TOO WIDE. GET THEM ALL REMADE.
WE CANNOT HAVE THE LIVES OF OUR TROOPS ENDANGERED."]

* * * * *

A MIXED LETTER-BAG.

(_Prompted by "Thrifty Colleen's" letter in "The Times"
of September 12._)

CRUELTY TO VEGETABLES.

SIR,--May I be allowed to protest with all the vigour at my command
against the revolting suggestion that, with the view of making cakes
from potatoes they should be first boiled in their skins. I admit that
this is better than that they should be boiled without them, but that
is all. The potato is notoriously a sensitive plant. Personally I
regard it more in the light of an emblem than a vegetable. That it is
not necessary as an article of food can be conclusively proved from
the teaching of history, for, as a famous poet happily puts it--

"In ancient and heroic days,
The days of Scipios and Catos,
The Western world pursued its ways
Triumphantly without potatoes."

If, however, the shortage of cereals demands that potatoes should
be used as a substitute for wheat, I suggest that, in