ef that they are being heavily attacked.

_Austria_.

Austria is reputed on her last legs (three altogether). Her one man
and a boy are fighting with the nonchalance of despair to resist the
Allied pressure. Good news may be expected from this Front shortly.

_Bulgaria_.

The warfare of attrition has never shown such excellent results as
in the case of Bulgaria. Her army of trained goats is now the only
barrier to the vengeance of the Serbs.

_Turkey_.

According to the latest report the Turkish Army has lost its rifle. It
is hoped that every advantage will be taken of our momentary superior
armament.

_China_.

As a last resort Germany is sending her remaining Hun to attack the
Chinese. What they can hope to achieve by so prodigal a waste of
"cannon-fodder" is difficult to see.

_Rumania_.

There is no news on the Rumanian Front. It is thought that there is
nobody there.

_Palestine_.

In Palestine both sides have withdrawn their troops and the battle is
proceeding without them.

When one realises that against these weakening and ever decreasing
forces our Allies will still have a reserve of 80,000,000 by the
Spring of 1925, it is impossible to take an otherwise than optimistic
view of the situation.

* * * * *

INTENSIVE RAINFALL.

"CUMBERLAND and WESTMORELAND.--After a ten weeks' drought
we have had three weeks' rain every day."--_Daily Paper_.

* * * * *

"Officer's camp kit wanted, in good condition, Sam Browne
belt (5 ft. 7), haversack, &c."--_Scotsman_.

In readiness for this hero's arrival at the Front the
communication-trenches are being specially widened.

* * * * *

"I WISH--

"That it were possible to get frying-pans that would stand
LEVEL when one is cooking in them."--_Home Chat_.

It is so awkward to be tilted out of the frying-pan into the fire.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _C.O. (to sentry)._ "DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENCE SCHEME FOR
THIS SECTOR OF THE LINE, MY MAN?"

_Tommy._ "YES, SIR."

_C.O._ "WELL, WHAT IS IT, THEN?"

_Tommy._ "TO STAY 'ERE AND FIGHT LIKE 'ELL."]

* * * * *

THE GREAT OFFENCE.

As everybody knows, a Gurkha is first of all a rifleman, but apart
from his rifle (which to a hill-man is both meat and raiment) there
are two other treasures very dear to the little man's heart.