* * * * *

[Illustration: "YOU'VE GOT _SOME_ ROCKERY HERE, DAD, SINCE I LEFT."

"HUSH! NOT A WORD. IT'S COAL, MY BOY, WHITEWASHED! CELLAR'S FULL UP."]

* * * * *

PROPAGANDA FRIGHTFULNESS.

(_It is reported that the German Minister to Patagonia, with the
assistance of the Swedish Charge d'Affaires, has caused the following
Proclamation to be distributed, along with a translation into the
vernacular, among the natives; alleging that it reproduces a leaflet
composed by the ALL-HIGHEST and dropped from a German aeroplane over
the London district._)

This is a know-making to my Britisch Underthanes addressed. Be it
known that from to-day on the Britisch Empire my Empire is, and all
Britisch Men, Fraus and Childer are Germans. The folgende are now
rules:--

(1) I make all Laws alone and nobody with me interfere must.

(2) When a Man or Frau or Child a mile from me laughs it is as when
into my All-Highest Face gelaughed is and the Strafe shall the Death
be.

(3) Who me sees shall flat on the Earth fall and shall him there until
I my gracious Hand wave keep.

(4) The German Sprache shall the Britisch Folk's Sprache be
and every Englisch Man who German not sprech kann shall with a
by-Proclamation-to-be-declared-Strafe gestrafed be.

(5) German at the Table Manners shall by all Britisch Childer gelernt
be.

(6) Everyone shall German Soldiers salute. If any one misses this to
do shall the Soldier the Right have him through the body with a sword
to run.

(7) Only German Cigars and Tabak shall gesmokt be.

(8) The Newspapers shall every day print an Artikel me for my good
Heart, my Genius and my Condescension praising.

(9) It shall a Picture of me in every House be.

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN OPEN-AIR VARIETY ENTERTAINMENT AT THE FRONT

WITH "OCCASIONAL MUSIC BY THE ANTI-AIRCRAFT SECTION."]

* * * * *

AT THE PLAY.

"THE YELLOW TICKET."

If Mr. MICHAEL MORTON doesn't mind my not taking his original play too
seriously I don't mind telling him how much I enjoyed it. It is quite
a neat example of the shocker--an agreeable form of entertainment for
the simple and the jaded. The chief properties are a yellow ticket and
a hat-pin. Both belong to the innocent and beautiful Jewish heroine,
_Anna Mirol_.

It appears that she wanted to leave the pale to go to see her dying
father in Pe