You BE?' says I, surprised enough, for Simmons was a billiard-roomer
from 'way back.

"'Yup,' he says. 'I'll be voted in at next meetin', sure. I'm studyin'
up on parchesi now.'

"'Hum!' I says, thinkin'. 'How you goin to vote?'

"'Me?' says he. 'Me? Why, man, I wonder at you! Can't you see the
fires of Conservatism blazin' in my eyes? I'm Conservative bred and
Conservative born, and when I'm dead there'll be a Conservative gone.
By, by. See you Tuesday night.'

"He went off, stoppin' everybody he met to tell 'em the news. And on
Thursday Ed Barnes dropped in to pay me the seventy-five cents he'd
borrowed two years ago come Fourth of July. When I'd got over the
fust shock and had counted the money three times, I commenced to ask
questions.

"'Somebody die and will you a million, Ed?' I wanted to know.

"'No,' says he. 'It's the reward of virtue. I'm goin' to be a better
man. I'm jinin' the men's club.'

"'NO!' says I, for Ed was as strong a billiard-roomer as Bije.

"'Sure!' he answers. 'I'm filled full of desires for crokinole and
progressiveness. See you Tuesday night at the meetin'.'

"And, would you b'lieve it, at that meetin' no less'n six confirmed
members of the billiard-room gang was voted into the men's club. 'Twas
a hallelujah gatherin'. I couldn't help thinkin' how glad and proud
Gabe and Mr. Fisher would have been to see their dreams comin' true.
But Bassett and Ellis looked more worried than glad, and when the votin'
took place I understood the reason. Them new members had divided even,
and the ballots stood Bassett thirteen and Ellis thirteen. The tie was
still on and the election was put off for another week.

"In that week, surprisin' as it may seem, two more billiard-roomers seen
a light and jined with us. However, one was for Bassett and t'other for
Ellis, so the deadlock wa'n't broken. Jotham had only a couple of his
reg'lars left, and I swan to man if THEY didn't catch the disease inside
of the follerin' fortni't and hand in their names. The 'Billiard, Pool,
and Sipio Saloon,' from bein' the liveliest place in town, was now the
deadest. Through the window you could see poor Jotham mopin' lonesome
among his peanuts and cigars. The sayin' concernin' the hardness of
the transgressor's sleddin' was workin' out for HIM, all right. But the
conversions had come so sudden that I couldn't understand it, though I
did have some suspicions.

"'Look here, Dan,' says I to Bassett, 'are you goin' to ke